Our expert says:
Well, most people have one or more fantasies that turn them on when they think about it, often things which they actually would not do in real life, or which they would find disappointing in real life. And fantasies that remain fantasy usually don't do much harm.
I wonder what you are actually asking here. Are you concerned that you have this particular fantasy ? Or wanting to understand why you do ?
You say you "won't sleep with one", presumably meaning you don't plan to actually do this in reality, but you have had at least one sexual experience of this sort, though a cautious one.
What does the fantasy represent ? Well, you'd need to explore this with a counsellor to get useful clarity about this. For a young white male, a posible black sexual partner could represent several things - for instance, in the recent past it was seen, as it probably still is in some areas od society ) as the great taboo. We're the only country in the world, so far as I know, which made it an actual criminal offense to have sex, based entirely on the race of the participants - and the forbidden can become more appealing, a factor which frustrates those who get more turned on by trying to regulate or control the morals and sexual behaviour of others.
Often, the idea of sex with someone of a different racial or ethnic group or nationality represents more of an adventure, with someone whose behaviours and tastes are more unknown to you ; or who you may assume to be more uninhibited than you or of partners more similar to you.
The idea of you driving round a lot by day, talking with black sex workers, suggests you are sorely rtempted to act out your fantasies. If you did, there would be the usual risks and potential problems of having sex with any sex worker ( including the risk of HIV/AIDS and other STD ), but otherwise in itself its not necessarily more problematic.
Is there an element of the oposite, although you say you have a girlfriend, that there is something about the prospect of sex with white women of a more closely similar cultural background to your own, which in some way troubles you ?
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