Posted by: lost | 2008/11/04

Help please

I have been married for fourteen years eleven years back I got agressive against my wife while drunk and I pulled her hard and injured her ribs she ended up in hospital,six years back she confessed a affair to me which was 8 months old due that she was feeling alone and needed attention which he provided, I never since 11 years back ever hit my wife I do loose my cool when agrivated but not easily anymore now my wife left me bexause she never came over her fear for me and I do not give her a reason to be afraid it just happened recently 3 monthe back. I got upsetting news regarding my daughter and gave her a hiding ever since after that my wife keeps on frowing the past in my face which led to her divorcing me . I love her more than anything I even suggested counciling which she declined saying it is to late and I am so sorry and told her that many times and begged forgiveness. Am I going mad ? Am I a monster? Do I have a problem and need to see someone? I cannot understan that after 18 years together she can just leave me like that weve ben throug tough times before this is not the first time that we have financial difficulty she said that she build a wall between me and her please help

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Our expert says:
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As you know, giving a child a hiding is not only useless as regards providing good discipline and desirable behaviour change, it is strongly frowned on, and even banned or illegal ion some countries. Marriage counselling would probably be a good idea, but it requires both of you to agree to give it a proper chance, and probably ought to have been tried much earlier on. Maybe she'd recognize your effort if you saw a shrink on your own to work on controlling your temper and occasionally violent behaviour, and even if she didn't it would be of real benefit to you yourself

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