Our expert says:
She sounds like someone with Learned Helplessness, very low slf-esteem, and not prepared to even try, any more, to cope by herself, and thus placing unreasonable demands and expectations on you. You are a kindly, caring person, who is being dragged towards the end of your tether, by an endlessly demanding and endlessly needy person. SHe needs serious counselling, to learn to take charge of her own life. Who knows, a major reason for her mariage breaking down could be her excess neediness. It's like the swimmer in trouble who strangles the lifesaver. You are absolutely right to set clear limits, as to when and how often she may contact you ( if and when you resume contact ) and in the meantime it's reasonable to insist on a break without contact so you can recuperate and so that she can see a counsellor and get her act together. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
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