Posted by: Mo | 2008/09/03

Help needed urgently

I know this does not belong to this forum but I need help urgently.
My wife and I lost our baby last week  he was only one month old. Now it’ s hard for her to accept it and she cries everyday. What can I do please help me. I need to take her for counselling but I don’ t know where, I'  m in cape town.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I'm so sorry for your loss, Mo. It is entirely understandable that your wife is crying everyday after such a tragic loss; this does not necessarily mean that she needs counselling. As you describe it, it sounds like she is having a normal response to a tragic event and needs time to heal; most of us have a natural ability to survive/heal from trauma. Such pain can be very difficult for a loved one to witness, and particularly as you are likely to be trying to cope with your own pain! You are permitted to grieve too and I think that you BOTH need support from friends, family, colleagues, and if need be, health professionals at this time.
Of course people's responses to grief can vary, but it possible that such a loss can leave us feeling quite lost and confused because one's ability to live day-to-day can be lost temporarily - I think that this can be normal and can heal in time. If, however, you are worried that her response is greater than would be expected, or if she shows no sign of regaining some level of functioning in a few weeks, perhaps it would be worth getting in touch with your local GP, clinic, or whoever she has had recent medical contact with (e.g. midwife, gynaecologist) to ask for advice and possibly a local counsellor.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lizzy | 2008/09/16

Hi. I' ve been getting sores on my vagina and keep reoccuring, and recently i' ve started having abdominal pains during sex with my boyfriend, we dont use a condom, so he' s also been getting sores, and cuts on his penis after i' ve had my period. I also have some marks on my body which are like " dry skin'  and the itch sometimes. My boyfriend thinks i might have an STD, bt i' m afraid to go check it out. And i' d also like to know what are the chances of having STD hand in hand with HIV? Please help me. Thank you.

Reply to Lizzy
Posted by: Mo | 2008/09/03

Thanks for the adivice, I' m will call my GP now.

Reply to Mo
Posted by: T | 2008/09/03

I am dreadfully sorry to hear about your loss. It is a very difficult thing to accept, it is not natural, it is not supposed to happen. I dont live in the Cape. Get your GP to refer you guys to a psychologist, it would be wise, for yyou to also attend some sessions. It' s going to be a tough road ahead, no use kidding yourself. Take it one day at a time. There are going to be set-backs and really tough days. Just remember that God is just a prayer away. My thoughts are with you and your wife, go well.....:-)

Reply to T
Posted by: toni | 2008/09/03

So sorry to hear about ur loss but go to gynea doc or cyber doc, perhaps they have a counsellor for u to see or alternatively visit the netcare website &  choose a hospital in ur area, they have a list of all the doctors on there....Just be there for her, coz i can imagine it cannot be easy for her &  for u also.

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