Posted by: Helpie | 2005/07/28

Help needed urgently

I need advice on the following issues:

Me and my husband have been married almost 2 years he has been divorced previously I am his 3rd wife. He is 38 years old. We are very happy have a baby girl of 1 year old. Lately he cant sleep if he get 2 hours sleep a night it’s a lot that is working on him and above it all he complains that I also keep him awake if I only move then he is awake. This situation has been improving from 23 July 2005, but how long it will last I cant say he gets his off and on times for this sleeping disorders.

He is also in a very difficult situation, can the following be causes of “menopause” in men?

He will start the day very happy go lucky and then suddenly he will get frustrated, then the next moment every one around his irritates him. This is starting to get to me too because he is very nice to me and then the next movement he gets irritated with me and I don’t know why. He says he don’t know what is going on with him he doesn’t know himself to be like that.

The next issue is, he says he doesn’t know how to show his love towards me or our daughter, his afraid of giving his love and then losing us. Its not a matter that he doesn’t love us, he does but he don’t know how to show it. This in a matter I can understand because he went though 2 divorces. I wont to help him but don’t know how or what to do.

He also said that he don’t know how to speak to me anymore. What can I do on my part to make things better and stand by my husband whilst going through this?

May this be that he needs a break and sorting himself out?

Please help me in this regard I love him very much and cant sit back and do nothing I don’t want to loose him, he is my world.

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like he's being sressed at work or elsewhere, and may even be becoming depressed. Seeing a counsellor might help. When it's someone's third marriage, you must guess that they have some problems in sustaining relationships ( it can't always have been the other person's fault ) Would he consider marriage counselling with you ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mike | 2005/07/28

My own wife has noticed I'm more crabby as I aged, I'm 40 now. Some reason things that never bothered me before get on the nerves. Maybe your husband and I are on the road to being grumpy old men. I'm trying to excersise more, I'm sure our bones and bodies are undergoing a mid-life change, excersise is supposed to help.

Reply to Mike
Posted by: re | 2005/07/28

Just remember that he went through two divorces already and he could have un-resolved issues....

I think that you should go for counselling!

Reply to re
Posted by: SR | 2005/07/28

Sounds like thats the reason he didn't fair well in his previous marriages. Maybe he has a problem stemming from his childhood. They say that you cannot give what you don't have and if you have not received.

Hey don't give up on him ....

Reply to SR
Posted by: Joanne E | 2005/07/28

yes it sounds like "menopause" or an early mid life crisis

Reply to Joanne E
Posted by: SG | 2005/07/28

Sounds like he is under some form of stress !! If talking to him does not help the situation then he needs to see a counsellor for help.

Insomnia and irritation are 2 signs of stress,you need to help him get out of this before it gets worse.

The fact that you are his 3rd wife indicates some sort of probable relationship issues on his side as well.He might have to learn how to behave in a relationship.

Reply to SG

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