Our expert says:
Keep up the struggle. It is no victory, no end, and nothing acceptable, to seriosuly consider taking out yourself and your children --- they AND you CAN have so much more happiness in life, even though it may take a bit more struggle to succeed. Sounds like the loss of your husband unpleasantly echoed the loss of your father in a similar way. But don't, please, assume that your children are somehow doomed to follow in the path you have strayed into so far --- they need not be seriously affected by the loss of their Dad, and need not become chronically Depressed. So what you know so bitterly from your own experience is, fortunately, NOT what they will have to face. You urgently need either to see your current psychiatrist, or to get a good new one for a fresh opinion, for a full re-assessment of the situation, being very frank with them about how hopeless you feel, maybe suggesting that they seek Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy for you in addition to the medications they will want to use, and taking a renewed aggressive approach towards ridding yourself of the depression, not ridding the world of yourself. I understand how hopeless things may feel to you, but this is not how they need to be, and this CAN be changed. Don't give up.
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