Posted by: Amazed | 2005/01/12

Help me!!!!

It's been 3 years that my husband died in a car accident. This year has been by far the worst. I am battling an ever present depresseion wishing that I could just take my kids out with me and end all of this. I have seen shrinks for years now, am on anti depressants. Today being a particularly bad day again because I took my youngest to school for the first time. I do not wish this life for my children. My dad died in an accident when I was 5. I know exactly what they have to face in years to come. If the universe is sending me a challenge then I'm afraid, I'm failing and not getting the message. I do not want to live anymore.....Finished.

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Our expert says:
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Dear amazed,
Keep up the struggle. It is no victory, no end, and nothing acceptable, to seriosuly consider taking out yourself and your children --- they AND you CAN have so much more happiness in life, even though it may take a bit more struggle to succeed. Sounds like the loss of your husband unpleasantly echoed the loss of your father in a similar way. But don't, please, assume that your children are somehow doomed to follow in the path you have strayed into so far --- they need not be seriously affected by the loss of their Dad, and need not become chronically Depressed. So what you know so bitterly from your own experience is, fortunately, NOT what they will have to face. You urgently need either to see your current psychiatrist, or to get a good new one for a fresh opinion, for a full re-assessment of the situation, being very frank with them about how hopeless you feel, maybe suggesting that they seek Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy for you in addition to the medications they will want to use, and taking a renewed aggressive approach towards ridding yourself of the depression, not ridding the world of yourself. I understand how hopeless things may feel to you, but this is not how they need to be, and this CAN be changed. Don't give up.

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Our users say:
Posted by: CK | 2005/01/12

You are very strong, the fact that you are still fighting, just shows you that you can do this. You also need to be strong not for yourself only but for your children, you are now mommy and daddy to them. I really envy you, I do not know what would happen should my husband pass away.

I cannot imagine how yo must be feeling, but dont worry, you konow you can always send you postings in this forum and will try and remind you how strong you are and you will be just fine.

Keep fighting, I know your husband is very proud to see how well you are doing even though you think you are not coping.

Keep well...

Reply to CK
Posted by: Phil | 2005/01/12

At this moment you are so down in this pit called depression that you are unable to see the light. Children are much more adaptable then us. Please go talk to someone, fight this depression that wants to destroy you. The moment that you start looking at the sun, birds and stars again you will look back and not understand why you couldn't see it before. Please try, and be strong. You have little angels to care for, and they need you and they want to live their little lives to the fullest with a loving mom.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: J | 2005/01/12

Hi A

The fact that you made it this far, just shows how well you have met the universe's challenge ALREADY!
Dont give up there for your kids...they need you!

Reply to J

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