Posted by: sleepless | 2004/10/05

help, I'm sleep deprived

My 1yr old does not sleep right through the night and wakes up about 3 times for comforting.
My husband (after 2 and half years) has lost his patience and sleeps in another room when the baby is restless.
I'm expecitng another baby in Feb 2005 and dont think my marriage is going to survive it.
I've tried speaking to my husband about the problem but he seems to think that because I'm a stay-at-home-mom I should be able to cope.
Having no or very little sleep at night is not benefiting me in any way.

Please advise on what I can do to get my husband to support me with the older child.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Sleepless,
yes, it's not fair for your husband to expect you to deal with this all on your own --- you two need to discuss this and share the burden. Tanya's experience is instructive and worth reading through carefully. This isnt one of my areas of expertise, so let's see what our other readers, with more experience of dealing with screaming babies, have to say about it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: TANYA | 2004/10/05

my baby woke up between 8-10 times a night since 4 months old, she is now 1 year 1 months, it got so bad that i started to write the times she woke up down just to make sure that is was so many times, i took her to a nurse that deals with sleeping disorders, she said i should leave her in her cot dont pick her up when she wake up or give a bottle or anything, just talk to her let her know you are there for her, & also talk in a firm voice to let her know you are serious. I tried it a couple of times & didnt work cause i was too tired to persivere. It got so bad that one day i just started to cry & i couldnt stop, doctor booked my off for a couple of days, but it didnt help she was in hospital the next day with diaree & bladder infection so the time that i was suppose to be resting i spent it at the hospital, he said i could go into depression of not sleeping, i must look after myself, ja easier said that done. +- one month ago one night i could take it anymore & just left her to cry, didnt pick her up just spoke to her in a firm voice to lie down & sleep, she stood in her camping cot for +- 3 hours just screaming, now & then she would fall down & then she'd get up again & start crying again, my heart wanted to brake, i cried just as much, but i didnt get up for her, she could see me, she sleeps in our room, the next night she woke up ONCE & its been ALOT BETTER since then, now she wakes up once a night or some nights not at all, & when she does wake up i just say shhh shhh & she turns around to sleep again. Try it, even if it is hard, just do it, even if he/she cries for the whole night, dont leave the room, they eventually realises that they are not getting a reaction from you & falls asleep. Leave the kids with you husband for one day to do everything for them, go out, then lets see how he feels at the end of the day, being a parent is not an easy job & men just DONT REALISE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish i could talk to you, you are pregnant you should be resting, please try my advise & if possible reply on this site, i would like to know how you are dooing GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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