Posted by: Frustrated | 2009/06/23

Help!!! Help!!!!

I love my husband and kids, but I am withering away. I work full time, have a very busy spiritual life and I have no one to help in inside the home. I am scared to get a maid co' z of a breakin which occured a while ago.

I am tired, frustrated and very unhappy with my life at this moment. I have no time for myself, I have no frustration outlet, I have no one to talk to- no friends. My life consists of work, church, cleaning and taking care of the children. My husband and I live like room-mate who just sleeps in the same bed. My house is literally falling apart - I hate my house. I don' t want to invite people over co' z comes down on my shoulders- cleaning cooking, serving, entertaining- cleaning.

I hate my job, I wish I could just walk in one day and tell my boss to sick-it where the sun don' t shine. Still I cannot afford this, my children need to eat. Sometimes my husband makes me feel like I' m the worst wife and mother ever to be created.

I don' t not like my children to sleeping over at grannies, co' z I feel they are my husband and I' s reasponsibility to take care of them and they need to be with us co' z time goes by so fast I don' t want to miss one moment with them. Soon they will be grown and out of my house. We work so hard and spend so little time with them in the week I feel weekend is our time to bond with them.

I get so frustrated with everything around me, that I end up scream at my daughter (my mother use to scream at us as children and I promised myself that I will never scream at my kids). My one year old also gets it some time. I hate this!!!

They say it' s good to talk about probelms, but why don' t I feel better. HELP ME PLEASE??????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Review all the time you spend on church activities. Truly religious activity can be refreshing and sustaining, but where a church demands too much in time and activity, it becomes wearying, in a way that is of no benefit to anyone else. Your spiritual life would probebly benefit from having more time to feel rested and pray on your own, in peace, rather than in being organized.
And your husband must recognize that you both work, and both get tired, and that he must share the chores of running the house and caring for the kids, equally with you. Don't invite people over until you feel restd enough to enjoy their company --- that is a luxury, not a necessity.
You sem to think of your responsibilities towads our kids like a Life Sentence --- why not be glad for them to sleep at Gran's occasionally, if they and Gran like it ? The kids need QUALITY time with you --- having more time with a frazzled and stress-out mom is of little value, compared with less time with a rested and happy mom.
Talking about one's problem is indeed useful, IF one does it with someone like a counsellor who can ensure that the talking is useful and productive.
Consider --- seieng a personal counsellor to help you find better ways to cope with those aspects of the situation that can't be changed right now, and better ways to change those that can and should be changed. Take your time and look for a better and more congenial job, and meanwhile, let some of the office stresses flow over you, knowing that they need not be permanent..

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Leila | 2009/06/24

Have to agree with the other posters - get a maid. If you dont want one full-time share a maid with someone you know in the area.

Cut down on your time with the church and rather spend more time with your kids and your hubby. Surely going to church on Sundays is enough???

Sit down with hubby and talk to him, explain that because both of you work can you not share the evening chores with him so that you can both have some time to spend together.

And if you are so unhappy in your job, start looking for another one!

Reply to Leila
Posted by: Noma | 2009/06/23

Same lifestyle as urs, U know what is a difference between me and u, " Good Maid" .

Dont make urself a Supermom, U ll tear ur family apart. I struggled for sometime to get a good maid but I eventually did. Its a bit expensive but its all worth it.

I know u had a bad experience out there with ur maid, but keep trying u ll get a good maid out there.

I dont think I will do it without her, she is the second mom to my kids. M kids are young, and my job is demanding and I made an arrangement with her to only go home once a month, and I paying her accordingly.

This helps me not only have my time, I get to spend quality time with my husband,kids and friends.

Good luck

Reply to Noma
Posted by: simple | 2009/06/23

Ditch your church (half the crap you do there aint from Jesus or in the bible anyway..and let me guess you give them 10% cut of your earnings right?!)

Get a new job

Problem solved.

Reply to simple

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