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Question
Posted by: mic | 2004/10/11

Help for abusive nature

HI doc; I don't know where else to turn but i really want help. I love my girlfriend more then life itself. There is nothing i wouldn't do for her. I wanna grow old with her by my side. We have a perfect relationship except that I have an uncontrollable temper. I get agitated and damage things or punch a wall in frustration. In that time its almost like I stop feeling and thinking. The reason I write is that a few months ago I slapped her in my rage but she forgave me. I came from an abusive household and I was certain I would never be that way and now I have done something Im so ashamed of. There is no trust anymore and she fears me when we have arguments. I want to change but I don't know where to go or how to start. Please offer me any advice to begin my change. I don't want a repeat of this or to drive her away...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear mic,
OK, recognizing thast you have a seriously bad temper and a tendency towards getting abusive, is the first, essetnail step towards solving the problem, and the step without which nothing could be done to help it.
See a good local shrink for a full assessment and advice on treatment options. You can be helped, by counselling and perhaps with the aid of some medication, to control that temper and the possibility of violent behaviour, and to feel more confident about the living aspect of your nature. You can do it, and, if you want to, you will

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gogga | 2004/10/11

Mic laat weet en ek join jou ek het dieselfe probleem en het ook hulp nodig,ek het 'n "trust" issue,breek goed maar dank die Vader nog nooit my hande vir my vrou gelug nie.Ek het die hulp nodig voor ek haar verloor en ek kan dit nie bekostig nie sy is my hele lewe en sy het haar "ou"man nodig wat sy gedate het in die begin.Ek is in JHB.

Reply to Gogga
Posted by: Emma | 2004/10/11

Good for you. This is a good place to start. I am so pleased that you can see that you have a problem that needs to be sorted! I am sure the CS will give you good advice.

My husband acts exactly the same as you - but he does not see (or does not want to see) that he has a problem, so now I am divorcing him.

I am so pleased that you are seeking help for your and your girlfriend's sake. Best of luck.

Reply to Emma
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/11

Good man Mic,

I would first suggest you contact the telephone number given above that would most probably direct you to a local organisation or shrink that would help you.
Or, if you know of any shrinks in your local area then contact them yourself.
You cannot work through this yourself as I'm sure you've realised.
I commend you on seeking the help you need, now take the next step & go make yourself an appointment.

I must say, with your willingness to change, your gf must be worth a lot to you.

Good luck Mic,
Cheers,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun

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