Posted by: Guilt | 2008/08/14


I have a childhood memmory of my brother touching and licking me on my genitals (I was 5 he was 3) I know it wasnt anything sexual it was kids being kids - I think. The problem is now (26 yrs) this memmory is bothering me so much I feel trememdous guilt about it. I cant talk to my husband or mother and I dont want to talk to my brother because if he doesnt remember it I dont want him to remember it. How do I get past this memmory? I feel as if im losing my mind. Having a lot of hormonal problems as well. Please I just want to forget and be happy again!

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Our expert says:
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The memory may be accurate, or perhaps influenced by later events or other things you have heard about child abuse. It was surely kids being kids. At 3 he would probably have been open to experimenting if you encouraged that ; and at 5 you might be exploring more explicitly sexually, but without any ill intent or understanding of any significance beyond what might be interesting or pleasant. There was no bad intent on the part of either of you, and hence nothing that merits you feeling guilty about it. Your brother may well not remember anything about it, because until we are 4 or older we don't form reliable memories.
Maybe with whatever hormonal problems you mention, you may be somewhat depressed, which would exaggerate feelings of guilt. See a normal, ordinary psychologist for assessment and for CBT-style help at defusing the power you have given this memory and getting beyond it and better able to enjoy the rest of your life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2008/08/16

Hi Guilt
CS doesn' t see the messages anymore, after he has replied to them, so if you want him to reply to your second post, you' ll need to post anew.
Just to let you know and not leave you wondering why he isn' t replying again... :)

Reply to Kay in Gtown
Posted by: Guilt | 2008/08/14

Thank you doctor am seeing pshycologist (dont really want to discuss abovementioned matter with him) - he suggested I leave the pill which Ive done and now all of these bad feelings are coming out - I constantly feel if something bad is gonna happen and that I dont deserve to be happy- I feel realy down this week (its been 19 days pill free) can you tell me if my hormones can cause these bad feelings?

Thank you once again you have helped me alot!

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