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Question
Posted by: Mandy | 2007/12/03

Help

Hi CS

My hubby is a recovering alcoholic its been about 5 years has had a few slips in between maybe 3, now he has started another addiction GAMBLING!!!!! We sold our house last year due to debt trap due to GAMBLING and used all our profit to pay off debt, now we are renting but over the past few months we are going back into the debt trap again because of GAMBLING!!!!!!! I'm going insane and feel I'm being drawn back into the alcohol manipulation but only different GAMBLING!!!!! I had a long chat with him a few weeks ago and tried to explain to him how I'm feeling about everything and he agreed - low and behold he went and got drunk the next day so now i feel i can't talk to him about how i feel incase this happens again. I do talk to my sister about my problems and if he finds out i chat with her he'll not be happy as he wants me to keep everything under the covers and only talk to him if I'm feeling depressed well that did not work either. Everybody is asking when are we going to buy another house but I'm scared to do that until the GAMBLING stops or we'll loose the house again and the financial problems are out of control everybody thinks we invested our profits yet we have nothing to invest! I'm going insane,can't sleep at night as miserable as sin, depressed ,and very anxious. I hate each and everyday, we never socialise with others (avoid family get togethers,parties etc because of the alcohol) that's fine with me I understand and accept that he does not want ot be around people drinking and having fun i respect him for that.I don't drink i feel it's not fair on him, i support him one 100%. I love my hubby to bits he helps me with the house work, does the washing, cooks and is a fantastic person but his problems are driving me away. I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel i just want to cry all the time, my kids are asking me why I'm such a miserable person but i'll never let on to them they have been through so much with the alcohol abuse etc in their lives so its not fair on them to hear my problems. My hubby and i have not had a argument since he stopped drinking we get on so well so nobody knows how i actually feel.

Please give me some advise on how to deal with this, my life is so miserable sometimes i wonder if its worthwhile carrying on as i mentioned above i feel i'm going back to the alcohol manipulation but in a different form GAMBLING!!!!!!!

Thanks
Mandy

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He and you should contact the Responsible Gambling program ( details given at all casinos ) and he should see a good local shrink, as apparently he applies his tendency to become "addicted" or at least to overdo things, both to alcohol and potentially other substances, and to gambling and perhaps other behaviours, too. CBT counselling could help gain control of these behaviours. <br>And he is not entitled to damage your life by these foolish behaviours and expect you not to talk about it with anybody --- if he doesn't want to be talked about in this way, he should stop the bad behaviours. Sounds like he has to some extent shown an ability to control his drinking, but still having to avoid gatherings presumably because of the potential temptation, which isn't full control of the sort that is needed. <br>

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