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Question
Posted by: MPHO | 2007/07/27

HELP

I'M MARRIED FOR 2YRS NOW BUT HAVEFEELINGS FOR MY BEST FRIEND SHE ALSO FEEL THE SAME WAY SHE IS ALSO MARRIED I GO TO HER PLACEWE HUG AND KISS LIPS U KNOW I WE'VE BEEN FRIEND SINCE AND USED TO WORK TOGETHER AND OUR FEELINGS WERE THERE FOR EACH OTHER AND HIDE IT BY SAYING WE ARE BEST FRIENDS EVEN PEOPLE AT WORK USED TO SUSPECT IT BUT WE DID NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS I KNEW I LOVED AND I CONFESSED TO HER ONE IME ABOUT HOW I FEABOUT HER AND SHE SAID SHE FEEL THE SAME WAYTOO SO WE SAID WILL TRY IT. WE PHONE EACH OTHER AND TELL EACH OTHER HOW MUCH WE LOVE EACH OTHER BUT I WANT TO DO MORE THAT HUGGING AND SAYING I WANT TO PRACTISE IT I WANT TO KISS HER DEEPLY AND MAKE LOVE TO HER BUT HOW DO I START SHE WONT HAVE A PROBLEM CAUSE I TOLD HER I DO SOMETHING THAT SHE DOES NOT LIKE SHE MUST SAY BUT HOW DO I START. AND AGAIN I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO LADIES JUST HER WANT IS THIS FANTASY OR LESBAIN SHE IS ALSO MARRIED

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Mpho and a warm welcome to the forum.

What you describe here is definitely not a fantasy! This is reality - you and another woman are in love with each other. This is certainly a lesbian relationship but you could very well be bisexual.

You're asking us how to take the relationship to a deeper sexual level? It sounds as though you've done very well until now Mpho and I doubt you need advice on how to make love to her. Find a safe, private space where you can both feel comfortable and take it from there. Take your time, explore, indulge and enjoy.

On another level you must also deal with the fact that you're both married. Irrespective of whether with a man or a woman, you're both planning to commit infidelity. I hope you've thought this through and what the implications could be.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Truth | 2007/08/07

This is in the upmost level infidelity! If you take this step and your husbands found out how hurt they would be! You didn't mention if either one of you has children but if you do think about the impact this will have on them. Wether you are cheating with a man or women adultry (lets call it what it is) can and will completly destroy your marriages. Let me ask you a question and maybe you should ask yourself this question: How would you feel if your husband cheated on you with another man?

Do not fall for the lie that you should explore all sexual avenues. Sex was created to be enjoyed by a man and women in a marriage. God created it so that we would have the ultimate relationship with or spouses (one flesh). Anything other than that is a cheap rip off. And you live with the guilt for the rest of your life.

My advice is that you talk to your husband (not your best friend) about what is going on with you. I bet it will bring you two closer.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Tiara | 2007/07/28

No offence intended Mpho but why are you shouting at us in CAPS??? Use lower case babe, it is just easier to read and less offensive, These guys would rather answer you if you don't shout.

Justv a bit of guidance to how to enter a chat room or forum, irrespective of whether it is gay or not. CAP LETTER are generally seen as SHOUTING and there's no need for that.

Reply to Tiara
Posted by: TeenQueen | 2007/07/27

Sometimes a very close friendship can be mistaken for something more. I'm totally gay and I thought I was still in love with my ex girlfriend. Boy was I wrong! Just think about it.
;-)

Reply to TeenQueen

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