Our expert says:
sigh. Relationships with ANYONE at work are risky, and relationships with a married woman / man are always both wrong and risky. There's no rule that says its OK to have affairs with married women so long as they're unhappy at home. The affair will only increase the unhappiness at home, for everyone concerned.
She wont get divorced because it would shock those who know her --- but she thinks it wouldn't shock them to discover she's having an affair ? ( and there's no way it can be kept a secret for long ). Stop the affair, if you care about her, yourself, her kids, your kids, or her husband.
If and when she gets a divorce, you will both be free agents and can then consider getting together again
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