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Question
Posted by: resentful | 2004/01/11

HELP

I am currently trying to re-evaluate where I am at in life. Everyting seem to be going wrong and I don't seem to have what it takes to rectify this. I know the one fact that weighs the heaviest is that I am the most unforgiving person. If someone betrays my trust or someone is validated at what I perceive at my expense - I tend to place distance between and develop anamosity towards them. I cannot seem to get over it - I get resentful - this affects my work relationships as well as my personal. How do I "pretend that nothing has happened" My face tells all - I cannot pretend as much as I would like. I need to show that no matter what - I am still in control. How do I do this and retain my dignity and composure. I seriously need to forgive and move on. Pease help, I need a new begining - I feel it is long overdue. How does one correct this towards people you do not have any regard or respect.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear resentful,
It sounds like that unforgiving and negative attitude also extends to your relations with yourself. This is a perfect example of the sort of situation in shich expert counselling / psychotherapy can help such a lot --- you spend some time with an expert who can help to ask the right questions, help you to understand yourself and your automatic responses much better, and to choose more fruitful ways of responding to others, and to yourself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2004/01/12

Hello there.
It almost sounds like you are your own worst enemy....... Not being able to forgive or forget. I know that when people do hurtful things to us it is indeed hard to forgive and even harder to forget simply because it hurts and no one likes being hurt or punished or done in. As Mona says - Happiness comes from within and I am with the doc on this one, if you can - get help. You need to establish whether it is indeed your "attitude" to life that is the cause of what is going on with you. I hope that things work out - at least think about this. The fact that you have realised and acknowledged that there is something wrong is a step in the right direction. Good Luck and keep us posted.

Reply to Juzlisen
Posted by: Mona | 2004/01/12

Sounds like you seriously need to change your attitude and outlook on life. Happiness comes from within. Change your hair, change your clothes and get out on the other side of your bed (I hope its not against the wall!!) No one in the world is perfect, and i'm sure if you did something wrong, you would want other people to forgive and forget and not hold grudges. Try not to always think about the negative things other people have done to you, but try and find the good in them. Start over.

Reply to Mona

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