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Question
Posted by: Kerry | 2005/06/15

Hello Red

Howzit Red. Whats up? He fetched me this afternoon. He told me he has more of a relationship with me than his wife. He told me it will never work with the common-law wife, blah, blah, blah. And ..... yes, I told him its over as this is not working and i feel bad. He's not too happy with the things i said. I feel like a weight has been removed from my shoulders but also kinda sad as well. Anyway, I wasn't prepared to be called common and sluttish, 'cos i know im not. Go well and talk to you soon.

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Go well, too

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Posted by: Kerry | 2005/06/17

Hi Ama,

Im glad you told me your story. Im not the only one out there doing the wrong thing. It was really hard for me to break it off but i know my choice is right. I must say though that this site really does help us. Hearing everybody's views on what is right and wrong. Truth is that he will leave his common-law wife but not necessarily for me. He will go back to the UK and i would have been left sitting licking my wounds. You must be strong and no matter how hard it is - call it off Ama. You and I deserve someone who will give us their all - not only half a relationship. Cheers and have a good day.

Reply to Kerry
Posted by: Ama | 2005/06/17

Hi Kerry

I've been following your postings as I am (sort of) in a similar situation you are.

Things between my husband and I have been dreadful. We never have sex (as in maybe once every 2 months) - he prefers watching porn and we hardly interact. (o, yes and he is the type to come after 2 minutes and fall asleep. he's never given me an orgasm or even tried for that matter) There is no warmth, no emotional attachment from his side. I am nothing more than his maid

Earlier this year I met the man of my dreams. We became friends and then started an affair. Off course I didn't want to cheat on my husband and I didn't want to be the "other" woman, but we fell in love and things are really great for us - except off course the part where we are both married and cheating on our spouses!

The guilt has been killing me! We never promise each other that we will leave our spouses for each other (I was already considering divorce before we got together and tried to keep this from my lover as I didn't want him to think that I would leave my husband for him), but I have come to realise that with him in my life, I will never leave my husband as this makes my excuse for a marraige bearable. He is also very unhappy (his wife has been unfaithful), but with me in his life, he might never make a change.

I've decided to break it off next week (it is the right thing to do) and to then give my marraige one last shot. If I can find happiness with my husband again - great. If not, I'll move on, but not with this guy. Not until he makes the decision that is right for him.

I feel relieved and am looking foward to have an uncomplicated life again. I am very remorseful that I started this affair. I cannot blame it on anyone else. It was wrong. But it is over.

My point is actually, that I am already mourning the loss of this person in my life and know that I will have to be strong (like you will have to be) to stick it out.

Who knows. By ending this affair - I am starting the rest of my life. I am hopefull.

Reply to Ama
Posted by: Ama | 2005/06/17

Hi Kerry

I've been following your postings as I am (sort of) in a similar situation you are.

Things between my husband and I have been dreadful. We never have sex (as in maybe once every 2 months) - he prefers watching porn and we hardly interact. (o, yes and he is the type to come after 2 minutes and fall asleep. he's never given me an orgasm or even tried for that matter) There is no warmth, no emotional attachment from his side. I am nothing more than his maid

Earlier this year I met the man of my dreams. We became friends and then started an affair. Off course I didn't want to cheat on my husband and I didn't want to be the "other" woman, but we fell in love and things are really great for us - except off course the part where we are both married and cheating on our spouses!

The guilt has been killing me! We never promise each other that we will leave our spouses for each other (I was already considering divorce before we got together and tried to keep this from my lover as I didn't want him to think that I would leave my husband for him), but I have come to realise that with him in my life, I will never leave my husband as this makes my excuse for a marraige bearable. He is also very unhappy (his wife has been unfaithful), but with me in his life, he might never make a change.

I've decided to break it off next week (it is the right thing to do) and to then give my marraige one last shot. If I can find happiness with my husband again - great. If not, I'll move on, but not with this guy. Not until he makes the decision that is right for him.

I feel relieved and am looking foward to have an uncomplicated life again. I am very remorseful that I started this affair. I cannot blame it on anyone else. It was wrong. But it is over.

My point is actually, that I am already mourning the loss of this person in my life and know that I will have to be strong (like you will have to be) to stick it out.

Who knows. By ending this affair - I am starting the rest of my life. I am hopefull.

Reply to Ama
Posted by: Red | 2005/06/17

Ey Kerry

I'm glad 2 hear u made da right choice .... :o) u deserve better than him!

Reply to Red

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