Posted by: NAS | 2003/12/02

Height Issue

Hie there

I have just met this wonderful guy. He's perfect, has a good job, is good looking and treates me like a queen and I think I have fallen in love with him(He's already in love with me) We've gone out a couple of times and I must say I do enjoy his company but then there is one problem not a problem really but I just think I am making it an issue. See, this guy is shorter than me and I have a problem with shorter man ( I have always had guys taller than me not the other way round) When we walking Iam so conscious of the height issue and I think that will probable lead me into dumping the guy. Half the time I seem to the staring or looking out at pple to see if anyone is staring at us and somehow am forever losing concentration to what he will be talking about. He doesnt seem to have a problem with the height thing but I seem to have a big issue about it. The guy is perfect and all but I keep on asking myself why he had to be so short. I would like to know how I can get rid of this issue and just take it out from my head because it might / or maybe is already spoiling this relationship. One other thing I left out is that when I met this guy he hadn't looked as short as I see him now. I know the problem is with me and I seem to be finding a lot of faults(silly ones) . Please help me, learn to deal with this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Aren't you lucky that all those taller guys you went out with, didn't happen to have a problem about going out with shorter women ? What would you have felt if one of those guys had said "NAS, you're a lovely girl, but you're just too darn short for me " ?
Would you rather than this lovely guy was taller and nastier ? I can be certain that if anyone ever looks oddly at the pair of you when you're out together, it'll be because they've noticed you looking uncomfortable and staring at them, not because they could care in the least about his height. You're very lucky indeed to have found such a nice guy --- most women are longing to find someone that nice.
Are you perhaps fearful of committment, and finding faults as an excuse for not getting involved further with a guy so good that you also feel tempted to get serious here ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bells_R_Ringing | 2003/12/03

Often when things are going great in a relationship one feels the need to look for negatives and little problems to protect oneself from being hurt. Its like it seems too good to be true so 'lets find a problem'. Its quite funny coz I had a similar issue once and I was given this advice and and it was right. Its easier to find something wrong with the other person that to look at your own insecurities. What this boils down to possibly is that you are afraid of him getting too close to you and not liking what he sees. But love is about taking risks and now its upto you to decide if he's worth it or not. Good luck!!!

Reply to Bells_R_Ringing
Posted by: Too | 2003/12/03

My husband is also a bit shorter than me and I did not see it until a few weeks back (been married three years). Guess I love him so much that the exterior did not matter much as I still think he is very sexy!

Reply to Too
Posted by: Paul | 2003/12/02

Friend if height is an issue to you, then you might be looking to have way too many needs fulfilled by one man.

Reply to Paul
Posted by: Karen | 2003/12/02

i agree totally with previous resply.
My man has a belly, is chubby ( i am skinny), but u know what.... i love him VERY MUCH! no matter what people say bout him!!! one lady i work with commented on how fat my man was.....intitally i got mad.... until i realised that only shallow people only take note of the exterior...and if you can see thru that...then you are special and so is the one you are with.
just writing this makes me miss my baby more..and i can't wait to get home to him.... to me...he will always be my baby bear...

Reply to Karen
Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/02

Dont worry about what other people think, so what if he is shorter than you. That doesnt make him a bad person. My husband has a very big beer boep, but that doesnt make me love him any less! And what if people think he is fat?? He is still mine, and he is still great!! It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, be glad he is short and not ugly! Enjoy him!

Reply to Mona
Posted by: NAS | 2003/12/02

Thanks Juzlisen

I am trying to get over this issue and tonight I have asked him out and hopefully I will try not to think about it.

Will give you and update tomorrow!

Reply to NAS
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2003/12/02

Dear NAS

He is a great guy, accetp him, love him and be glad you have a good man.
I think that it wont be an issue for you when you are truly in love wtih him becuase you wont really care about his height. It should not matter, By the way have you seen how sexy some people look together that way?
Try to look at the height issue a little differently, try to see it in a better light.
Hey girl - Good men are hard to find. Wish you luck and enjoy your love.

Reply to Juzlisen

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