Posted by: Lucy | 2008/06/25

head versus heart

Dear Cyber shrink

I recently met a rather nice man on the net. He had just come out of a 2 year relationship, and before that a 16-year marriage. We've been seeing each other once a weekend .. slowly (as he had a shoulder op a month ago and is recovering). He told me he doesn't want any more children (has a 14 and a 6 year old) - we connect on many levels and every time i see him i grow fonder of him, his intelligence, kindness, honest and perceptivity. But and it's a big but, i definitely do want to have a child. it's what i want more than anything. He mailed me and on sat we are going out. I try to ration that perhaps i could meet some of his friends, but as yet he hasn't invited me. I am scared of getting involved with him as may not get my long term needs met. But there is a strong connection.. i even dream about dolphin signals/connections when i dream of him. (have had predatory sharks before!!)
eish! is it likely he could change his mind if we do get involved... he is 44?


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

THere's really no way for us to tell you what will happen. Its very udnerstandable that you would want a child, and very understandable that he wouldn't. He has been through the joys and problems of raising two children, and is at an age when he genuinely may very reasonably not want to go through it again. WOuld be prefer to remain a very good friend, while you consider someone else as a potential future husband and father of your child(ren) ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2008/06/25

Did he come out of a relationship where there were kids involved?

Its kind of a tough one and I guess you will need to persist. Dont lose that fish now, hold onto it for dear life but dont go overboard in the process.

Reply to SR

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