Our expert says:
Sounds like weak doctors ! NO doctor should ever rely on a patient's self-diagnosis, but is required to conduct a full, careful professional examinaion and assessment and reach his own conclusions according to proper professional standards and criteria.
And as you say, the problem might well not be Bipolar Disorder as such. IF indeed your husband were doing the sort of things you feel so sure he is doing, that's serious and would have an unfortunate impact on your mental health --- and you'd deserve to see a good local psychiatrist for a proper in-depth assessment of how this is affecting you, and help to strengthen you ability to cope with such situations.
Also, as you recognize that this does sound kinda crazy, it is possible that you may be suffering from one of a variety of paranoid disorders in which one very sincerely believes that such things are happening, even if they aren't, and this is also very distressing and debilitating, and also needs treatment. Anti-psychotic mediation ( if the right drug is chosen, at the right dose ) could help greatly to have you feeling much better and stronger before long.
From what you say, you may be seeing a psychiatrist ( the usual sort of doc to prescribe such meds ) ; and if so, I hope you have told him all about these unusual and stressful experiences, so that he can chose the best way to help you
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