Posted by: BA | 2009/06/30

He' s playing mind games

I have just met a male friend recenlty who told me that he has strong feeling for me and I happen to have them but we are not in a relationship at the moment. My problem is he puts conditions that I I have to date him I should loose weight and secondly he praises other women infront of me. Saying statements like. " Woo did you see those hips, they are very nice."  When I asked him he says he is open and won' t pretend not to see like other men and he knows he won' t do anything about it.

I fail to understand him please help!!!!!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he makes conditions for dating you, and insists on your losing weight, he's ot fond of you, but of what he thinks he might make out of you. And if he's raving about other women, again, he's being inconsiderate, ruide, and not thinking of you. Why bother trying to understand him ? Move on to someone more deserving of your company, and who likes you as you are

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Our users say:
Posted by: 007Boer | 2009/06/30

Sorry babe, but it will only go downhill from here. Better to break it off now while it' s still relatively easy.

Reply to 007Boer
Posted by: Anon | 2009/06/30

The man is insecure. Plain and simple. To degrade you like that by setting conditions like: you must lose weight is plain juvenile.
He needs to be spoken to about this, because it comes from a really low place.
I' ve always had a theory that' s helped me so much: The way people treat you and make you feel is often the way they themselves feel. So he' s trying to make you feel insecure because... he himself is insecure and probably does everything in his power to hide it so other people will think the opposite of him.
Next time he does that maybe just sigh and shake your head in sadness for what he must be feeling inside, because the more you understand where it' s coming from the less it can really hurt you.

At the same time though don' t allow his insecurity to infect you.

He could probably do with some help with his self-esteem, however if you suggest that he may feel insulted... if he refuses to address his own issues you may need to be more firm and let him know that your stunning self will not be infected by his clear lack of self-esteem. he' s gotta grow up.

Good luck  -)

Reply to Anon

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