Our expert says:
How some people refuse to take responsibility for their own choices, and prefer to blame others ! Does your F-in-law really think he had nothing to do with his decision to follow you up-country ? How are you supposed to have lured him and forced him to do that ?
He sounds like one of those grumpy old men who blame everyone but themselves for the results of their decisions, and who is only happy being unhappy. Part of the problem is ( I'd guess he is retired ? ) that he is BORED and has taken up complaining as a hobby.
Do NOT allow him to make you feel guilty --- he has made his own decisions and must live with their consequences, with the assistance of counselling if necessary. And don't allow him to blackmail you. Remind him that he still has your car which you loaned him for what was only meant to be a short time, and that this makes it harder to help him in the way he wants ; and that your own home and finances are already stretched and can't enable you to help him further. He should surely turn to other famil nearer where he is in the Cape. Can anyone else in the family help him to get other hobbies and occupations to keep him busy ?
I disagree with "Amazing" --- we all have a duty to make it easier for people to help us, rather than to be disagreeable and selfish as he is. Youi are certainly not evil at all.
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