Posted by: Confused | 2008/09/10

He threw me to the ground

Myself and my boyfriend have been going through a difficult time i went over to his house yesterday to try talk it through but we ended up fighting. i dont know what came over me but i slapped him through his face. so he literally picked me up and threw me to the ground. I cant judge him for i hit him too but but i was scared of loosing him. Weve been together for 2 years he broke up with me 4 days ago i dont know how to let go or i dont know if i should I need help fast im falling to pieces and im not taking it well.Everyone keeps telling me to grt over it but they dont understand. i really love him so much. but the fighting has to stop

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Our expert says:
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Violence from either of you is not acceptable and will of course only worsen the situation. It seems that what you need to establish is whether there is a way forward for the two of you. You have been together for 2 years so clearly there have been many positive things that have kept you together.

What is crucial is that you both agree that you want to try and make it work. If one or both of you wants the relationship to end, then you will need to work through ths issues of grief and loss that are attached to the ending of a relationship.

Relationships ending is never an easy process, but gaining a clear understanding as to why can help you begin to deal with this, and there is no point for either of you being in a relationship that is violent and emotionally destructive.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: BabyG | 2008/10/04

wow thats hectic, u shouldnt stand for that and the fact that he has a child?? how olds he???

Reply to BabyG
Posted by: Kman | 2008/09/11

Hi there,

At least he knows what he did was bad, that doesnt change the fact that he did it.
I would also freak out if I was going out with someone and their ex always keeps in contact, but you have to understand that he has a child with this woman so there IS a need for contact between the both of them. Just watch that they dont overstep any boundaries.
You definitly need to gain his trust AND RESPECT! A guy who respects a woman would never do what he did to you!
Please dont just go back to him because its easier than finding a new partner, find someone who loves you, respects you and who will treat you like a princess! People dont like change because it scares them, just keep these words in your mind " I can handle anything"  I always say to people, feel the fear and do it anyway!!
Dont forget I am here if you need to talk more!

Best of Luck.

Reply to Kman
Posted by: Confused | 2008/09/11

he sent me a message asking if he can come over to talk yesterday so he came over and just started crying i had never seen him like this before. he apologised about throwing me to the floor he said he felt like dying when he saw me fall. he broke up with me cause i always freak out when his ex smss him which is also the mother of his child. he does not understand that it affects me. we had a heart to heart and we spoke about everything i did not know what to say so i said if we get back together alot of things have to change. i told him im hurt and we will need to gain each others trust again..

Reply to Confused
Posted by: Kman | 2008/09/10

Hi There,

There is absolutely no excuse for him to do that! And yes you can judge him for what he did. You are right that you shouldnt have hit him, even though you did he SHOULD NEVER have laid a finger on you. A real man does not touch a woman in that way.
I understand what you are saying you can just " get over it"  relationships are difficult when you start hitting rough patches after being with someone for such a long time.
Dont fall to peices, as things just head into a downward spiral from there. I can understand how much you love him and how hard this must be for you. Why did he break up with you?
Think of it this way, if you got back together with him, the fighting would continue. You dont want to be in a relationship with constant fighting as it changes the person you are, and what if next time you have a fight and maybe you hit him again? Would he lash out at you in a different way...maybe by hitting you back?
I will be watching your question if you come back with anu additional info and will reply if need be. I am here for you!

Best Of Luck!

Reply to Kman

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