Posted by: ANN | 2009/05/05

He says it’ s over

My boyfriend tells me he’ s going to move out at the end of the month. I am shattered and heartbroken and feel like dying. He is the only one I could rely on, for 5 years. I don’ t have family- my Dad is up in Africa, my sister is a drug addict. My friends just turned out to be backstabbers once I became a bit successful. I thought he loved me. I thought we had something special. We were going to have a baby a few years ago but we lost it. We’ ve been living together for about 2 years now so we took things slowly. We didn’ t rush into things and make mistakes. He had years to tell me he didn’ t love me anymore. Why did he do this to me?

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Our expert says:
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Maybe this is a case example of the old saying : "Don't put all youir eggs in one basket" --- its not wise to put too much reliance on one single person to meet all your needs for companionship and other human needs.
We obviously can't tell you why he has done this, and guessing isn't useful. Only he can tell you, and he owes you a proper explanation and discussion. If he is seeing his mother every day, and aaccepting her dislike for you, he isn't ready to have a proper relationship with anyone else. And if he thinks that there's something terrible about reaching 30 without sleeping around, he's too immature for a relationship. He doesn't seem to realize that guys who sleep around too carelessly often don't live to see 30
If needs be, see a personal counsellor, to move on and set yourself free to enjoy better relationships in the future

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Eolathin | 2009/05/05

Hun, if he doesn' t want to be with you, kick him out! There' s no reason for him to torture you for one month more. If he doesn' t go, then you go. Live in anger till he' s gone, don' t let him see you cry. He sounds lie a bit of a controlling bastard with a psychotic streak if he wants to see you cry for a month... Put on your big girl shoes, hide your tears and do what needs to be done! Good luck, and remember, YOU are the one you should love and trust.

Reply to Eolathin
Posted by: ANN | 2009/05/05

Thanks ' Let it be' .
Your words are greatly appreciated.

Reply to ANN
Posted by: Let it be | 2009/05/05

I know you are hurting at the moment but please do not try and force him to love you, to be there for you. Let it be. I have been there and made myself a drama queen coz I was refusing to let go. You deserve better. Soon he will be on his death bed coz AIDS is not gonna have mercy on this bastard.

Reply to Let it be
Posted by: ANN | 2009/05/05

Thanks Frustration. We' ve had lots of problems in our relationship. First my family hated him, now his family hates me. In fact, two years ago his mother had nothing good to say about him- it was only when she saw we were getting ready to take our relationship further and move out did she get scared and start hating me and loving him. Now he see' s her EVERYDAY literally and she still hater me. I ask him for a reason why is he doing this to me and he can' t answer. We' ve been each others first and only sexual partners and he says regularly that he wants to sleep with other girls because how can he be nearly 30 and only been with one girl.

Reply to ANN
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/05

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Fruatration | 2009/05/05

I' m sorry that u are in this postion. did he tell u why it is over and why he wants to move out? are there any underlying problems that the 2 of u may need to address?

whilst it is not the best to be in this situation, u also can' t force him to stay if he wants otherwise. u need closure by finding out the exact reason for him wanting to end the relationship. once he has give u reasonable explanations, u need to pick urself up and realize that u can take care of urself, and while the pain won' t erase over night u can work on making it easier for urself.

hope this helps

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