Our expert says:
These really long messages need editing down !
You've noticed some of the reasons why long-distance relationships are difficult, especially if you don't know the person really well before the distance became a factor.
The indirect communications you can use may get by where there is a good level of knowledge of each other, and an existing strong relationship, but as you've found, it doesnt otherwise satisfy - you cant see him speaking, and assess the situation for yourself. Its easy to life and fake things by these pethods, whether Skype, calls, SMS, whatever.
As you say, you don't really know if he had a job in the first place when you first met, and iys foolish for him to give up a job ( if he actually had one ) and move to Joburg without having found a job there FIRST.
Dont give him any money. You don't need to buy friendship, and its his responsibility to at least look after himself. And what was he point of him moving to Joburg to be near you, when he's now looking for jobs in other provinces ?
It seems as though you don't really know whether he has one or more other women active in his life, either.
He should have been proud to show you his CV. And it sounds highly unlikely that he's an advocate. It would surely not be SO hard for him to get a job with a qualification like that.
It doesnt sound as though he is being frank and open with you, and maybe you need to trust your instincts. Don't you deserve more than this ?
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