Posted by: Tumi | 2010/04/19

He is cheating

I just found out this past Saturday that my boyfriend is cheating on me. He has been acting very strangely for the past week so when he was in the shower, I looked at his phone and found very intimate messages between him and this girl. It''s been 6 months since he last told me he loves me, he doesn''t send me romantic messages during the day or check up on me but he does those things with this girl. On the day they were together with this girl, he told me he was at a friend''s place to watch a soccer game. They were suppose to mee t again Saturday night but I stuck to him like glue the whole evening and he ended staying with me but he was very irritable.

I want to approach him but how do i do it without letting him know that I went through his phone? His phone has a security code and he does not know that I know the code.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So he's a cheat and a liar. WHy waste all the energy digging deeper, when you've already found the ordure ? Remind me what it is you find loveable about how he behaves ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mhise | 2010/04/20

You know what, this whole thing of digging for the truth, going through people''s stuff makes me sick. If you don''t trust him, leave him?

If he''s cheating, he sure will not stop even if you find smses from other girls. Once a cheater always a cheater....

I''m with you Tebogo, what you don''t know won''t hurt you.

Don''t you have better things to do?????????

Reply to Mhise
Posted by: Ros | 2010/04/20

I agree with Survivor toughen up a bit girl, you saw the messages so what! its not his business how you found out the point is you know and he''s cheating, approach him about it and if he doesn''t stop then you can decide if you want to leave with a cheat or advise is confront him. The same happened to me and I confronted him, he was so scared that i''m going to leave him and he stopped all that rubbish cause he knows htat he nearly lost me

Reply to Ros
Posted by: Survivor | 2010/04/20

Dont ignore it. It hurts yes but it gets worse which means its going to hurt alot more. Be a bitch man. Men fear woman with back bone and believe me they prey on woman with little confidence! I am not saying if you have these qualities the men wont cheat, what I am saying is that YOU wouldn''t feel up for such rubbish! Good luck!

Reply to Survivor
Posted by: Anon | 2010/04/20

So Tebogo, you prefer to live with your head in the sand while your man cheats? You accept that behaviour and that disrespect? Do you think that little of yourself that you allow that?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Tebogo | 2010/04/19

Its a tough one. I like saying what u dont know wont hurt. Stop reading his smses you are bound to be hurt. Our men are cheaters.

Reply to Tebogo
Posted by: Anon | 2010/04/19

Same thing here with my ex, the only problem was when I found out about another girl he used to beat the hell out of me. So ladies just be careful men are very protective of their phones. Now i never look at any mans phone because even if I do suspect something I dont want to get hurt.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Girlie | 2010/04/19

I did the same thing with my boyfriends phone and confronted him, he denied it. After that i noticed that he was more available than before and i could sense that he stopped seeing the girl. the problem now everytime we have a fight, i go back to those messages and everytime i see his phone, i am tempted to read the messages. the question is do you think you will ever be able to forgive and forget after he confessed??? if yes just be honest with him and tell him the truth but i dont know how you are going to explain the security code issue. keeping quiet and pretend as if nothing happened wont make the problem go away, its best to talk about issues and move forward. i understand exactly how you feel, but the problem with me if forgetting and moving forward, its difficult.

Reply to Girlie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/19

So he's a cheat and a liar. WHy waste all the energy digging deeper, when you've already found the ordure ? Remind me what it is you find loveable about how he behaves ?

Reply to cybershrink

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