Posted by: motsie | 2009/07/13

he dumped me becos i called the other lady

we met a month ago, and it was love at first site. however, he confessed that there was another lady in the picture but he was going to end it since he is serious about me.

so, when are sitting together the lady will call 2-3 times and he will request permission to answer the call on the other room.

I got tired about this and felt so insecure. so this morning i saw an sms in his fone, from the lady and it said: i miss u and mom is ok with lobola.

i took the number and call the lady to get her side of the story.

i know this is wrong as im invading his privacy.

the lady was friendly and explained that he was never into this guy and he is there just to relieve his sexual appetite and to help her cos she has some psychological problems.

she was also dissapointed that how can this guy approach me when he was intending to pay lobola for her. he said the guy is a good person but cannot afford to maintain her financially and she wishes me the best. now she has a reason to tell the guy its over.

now, he came to my flat and is very angry and says i did something that cannot be forgiven.

I apologised that i felt jealous and hence i called the lady but now he says its over.

i love him a lot and this is stressing me. please advice. what can i do to show him im sorry?

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Our expert says:
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Maybe you invaded his privacy, but he had already invaded your reasonable expectation of honesty --- if his relationship with the Other Woman was over, there would not be those calls or the need to have them in private, and why would they still be talking of his mother and lobola ? What has lobola to do with her generosity in merely "relieving his sexual appetite" ? Or with her "never being into this guy" ? What on earth is there to love with a man who was lying to you and the other woman, and using both of you, and whi merely gets angry when he is discovered to be cheating on you ? Why are you apologising when it is him who has been dishonest ? Why should you show him you're sorry ? What about him showing you he's sorry ? He does not love you, that's obvious. He is using the pair of you, and angry that you may have spoiled that arrangement.

I suspect you are basially in love with being in love, rather than with the highly unworthy man you chose to be "in love" with. You deserve very much better than he could or would give or be.

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Our users say:
Posted by: motsie | 2009/07/14

he came around yesterday and apologised and wants us back together. i accepted the apology but i dont want him anymore.

he said the other lady is angry and he told her that he does not know me. because the lady has psychological problems and does not want to make it worse. he must stop lying

he said he does not want us to become enemies and at least we must be friends. then he said he feels me and wants sex with me. i said he must get it from the other lady and must leave me alone as he never loved me.

he' s really sick, im glad its over.

Reply to motsie
Posted by: Really | 2009/07/13

You saved yours and the other lady very painful heartaches...... Gal run for you life.... he is using you and at least the other lady got some help from you.... Maybe your reason to have met this guy was to actually save the other lady from a hell life....

As for you TIME HEALS.......

Reply to Really
Posted by: TK | 2009/07/13

He is just not into you and I know Its hard to end it with someone whom you still love but he is not worth it. You are special woman and deserve someone who will respect and love you back.

Let go of him before he even hurt you more!!!

Reply to TK
Posted by: Me | 2009/07/13

he doesnt love you.leave him alone

Reply to Me

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