Posted by: blubber | 2004/10/21

hb lying about previous marriages

with all the talk about marriage and divorce, i just thought i'd share my piece with you...

got married 4 months ago at the local home affairs office (no money for an expensive do, and we've both been married before). what a shock it was to stand there, minutes before being declared husband and wife, and listening to the marriage officer assure him that ALL THREE HIS PREVIOUS MARRIAGES have been properly recorded, as with my one and only previous one, nothing to worry about in that department (yeah right?!!).

what bothers me is that he never told me about the other two and when i confronted him, he said "he's not ready to discuss it with me yet". this after living together for 4 years and now being married.

any ideas why he wont discuss this with me? or never told me in the first place? i feel humilliated and excluded from his confidence.

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Our expert says:
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If he's not ready to discuss his previous marriages, he's not ready to get married again.

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Our users say:
Posted by: V | 2004/10/21

Hi blubber
My husband also didn't mention that he was married more than once. What a shock. When I confronted him about that, he got very, very angry. He also told me about only one kid. I only found out afterwards that she also has a sister. Well we've been married for about thirteen years. Lots of abuse down the line, all his emotional baggage dumped on me, I'm living in wawa land. Stopped thinking about whether he is telling the truth or not a long time ago. He always knew what to say and what not to, and the fool I am I always gave him another chance.

Reply to V
Posted by: DD | 2004/10/21

Where there's smoke there's fire. If you cannot open up about something like that it must be bad. I know you have just got married but I would run a mile. I was in similar situation but not married just involved but he was talking of marriage - I actually phoned his ex wife and it turned out he was still married and had molested his daughter and that is why is was actually kicked careful.

Reply to DD
Posted by: Heidi | 2004/10/21

Oh-oh - sounds like his next wife will hear about his four previous marriages..

Seriously, though, if a man can keep a secret about something that big, it makes you wonder what else he is capable of...

How hard it is earn trust, how easy it is to lose it. Wil you evr trust him again, about anything at all?

Reply to Heidi

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