Posted by: Mark | 2008/11/11

Having children when bipolar????

Hi I want to know, is it worthwile having children when i am bipolar.I suffer just to look after myself, how would I manage children.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its as worthwhile and as challenging as if you're not bipolar. There are perhaps two issues for you here. One is the issue of ingheritance --- your children would have a mildly increased risk of growing up to be bipolar nthemselves --- but not a very high risk, unless you chose to marry someone who laso has Bipolar Disorder. The second would be whether you could face coping with the chores and anxieties of being a parent. Some Bipolars definitely do, a few thrive on it ; some can't face it. I can't tell which of those categories might fit you. Maybe CBT style counsellin could help you to feel more confident about coping with your self, and better able to assess how well you might handle parenthood

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lee | 2008/11/14

I was diagnosed with bipolar last yr aug,I stopped taken medication when i found out i was preg in Dec and have a healthy 3mnth old boy.But cybershrink are you saying that my little boy will also get it one day.He is still breastfed and my boyfriend said the same thing.

He was always supportive on this but now i think im having a relapse and he think im using the bipolar as an excuse to behave like this(I accuse him for everythg that goes wrong,when i dnt get a responds frm him withn a few min).I feel on top of the world one min,the next i feel like my boyfriend is not good enough for me and just feel like i can take him out of this equaztion,but i fear for my baby and his the only thing that is stopping me from hurting myself.Ive even stopped the therapy as it did not help but where or who in jhb is excellent to help me overcome this,so that i can either leave this guy and move on being a single mom and except or make things work.

His a good man in many other ways,but he loves to drink almost everyday,one or two beers, doesnt get drunk an he knows he has a problm but not working on it.We were close friends before we ended up bipolar was diagnosed maybe cause i lost my boyfrnd 4yrs ago and 4mnths later my best friend died of diabetes.Im trying very hard to control my lows but i just snap when i dont get my way.pls help

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2008/11/14

I' m also bipolar and have two children, 18 and 15. I' m a single parent now. Children " grow you up"  no matter what condition you have, and you really learn to cope and take care of them. I really don' t feel I' ve done a bad job, and they' ve learnt along the way that no-one' s perfect but with love for each other you can overcome very much. Also, you can watch for early signs of it much faster and not have all the years of stumbling around that I had, before my very late diagnosis.

I wouldn' t let it put me off.

Reply to Kay in Gtown
Posted by: Anon5 | 2008/11/11

Funny Cybershrink should say that. I am bipolar, have two children, and I am thriving. I can' t be without the chores, being busy and active running around with them to school functions, birthday parties, making lunch for school, getting them ready in the mornings etc etc. I feel as if my bipolar has been cut to 1/5th of what it was pre my kids. I am a different person to what I was years before my kids.

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