Posted by: Madlyinlove | 2005/12/02

Have not told you everything

Hi Expert and Forum. I just cannot got go and see a councellor my situation does not allow it, pls believe me. Until three yrs ago I was fine then this boy came into my life, I am a succesful businessman and am good lookin and am in a relatiosnhip of 10 years, but this young man has turned my life upside down, since I met him I have cried mot nights I have never felt this way over anyone, I go out and pay for sex to get over my heart ache, I am very anxious, I never was before, I started smoking, I was an honest partner, now I have sex encounters withs trangers in the street and then I cry, I am consumed by grief Mr Expert, I feel so empty and lonely I have no one to talk to, This boy is all that I live for, He is around me constantly its driving me crazy, why can I not love my a
partner like I love this boy, I run 10kms everymorning to deal with my grief, I just cannot see me reaching 40 yrs I cannot see it the pain in my heart is overwhelming I just dont have the strentgh, Pls try to understand that I have tried to manage this as best I can, so well that no one at work or my partner knows of my pain, I need todo something But I feel no confidence in myself, I just cannot see a life ahead, I am so scared that I will fall into this trap again, I am not a victim I am just in alot of emoyional pain and I cannot deal with it. I never had this pain until three yrs ago, I was happy then, this boy has destroyed my life, I have done everything for him, He is like an angel in my eyes, I love him very much....I am so tired of fighting. God i just dont know whattodo anymore.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi again Madlyinlove.

Not acting on this has got significant implications for your mental health as well as your relationship. You may need to replace the word love with 'obsessed'.

I stand by my previous comments. This issue is bigger than you think and to date you've been unable to resolve it on your own - you need professional assistance so I urge you to find a way to get counselling. You can call the Gay & Lesbian Helpline on (021) 4 222 500 any day between 1 pm and 9 pm to discuss this with a counsellor.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Brad | 2005/12/05

So then do waht the Xpert suggests - seek professional help, go see your GP or see a counsellor! WHY R U WAITING?

Reply to Brad
Posted by: Madlyinlove | 2005/12/05

Thankyou for your messages. I dont have any energy this morning I feel truly down and out, I have no sense of where I am going or where I am at, I serve no purpose, I just waiste space...... I just want to run away from everything to a place where I feel nothing and see nothing and just do nothing........I just cannot keep up anymore.

Reply to Madlyinlove
Posted by: Fem | 2005/12/02

Madlyinlove, I have read your post & we cant really tell you what to do, you are fighting because you dont know what to do, you are in a situation here of making a choice & you scared if you do it will be the wrong one....You have to either end it with your partner or with this Boy, you say he has destroyed your life, which says only one thing he is no GOOD for you, the longer you let it go on for the more pain in the end. You sound like you have a great partner but you cant love him the same way. Well you are decieving him & hurting him without him knowing yet & in the long run will be utter pain when he finds out. So stop it now, tell him you have fallen for someone as it is only fair on him to know & fair on you to get all this tension off your back & move on with this man, you have waited far too long already, what are you scared of?? losing your partner? losing this boy? what is making you so unhappy? If you end it with your partner you can be with this boy all the time & stop hiding & stop feeling guilty. You say you were happy before, so you were happy with your partner, you dont saty with someone for 10 years if you aren't. Madly its your heart mind concience that doesnt know what to do, but you have to think realistically here, look at the pro's & con's of both & make a decision.....Good luck let us know...

Reply to Fem

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