Posted by: Thando | 2009/06/25

Have had enough

I am about to get married in December but mind you I have had enough. I stay with my husband and her daughters (2) I dont know whether I am strict or bossy or what they dont know anything about a house and dirty as well. they dont even eat bread that slept what they do is throw it in the dustbin.

I' ve communicated this with the father but he loves them too much he says I dont like the kids and that I have issues with the kids. I have told him that they will get him into trouble one day because he spoils them.

Yesterday the other daughter came with a piece of paper you can see that the paper she wrote it herself, she said she has been nominated at school to go and attend school at Cape Town (Apra School) and they need everything from the father from ID to banking details, I asked but why is this thing not official, the father said the child is clever so she has been nominated. and I am telling you I think this has been done by the mother because she can see that the date of wedding is approaching every sent must be spent on her baby, what must I do please advise

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like the father is loving, but doesn't recognize that allowing kids o do as they please is actuall abusive and bad for kids, who need structure and organization so they can grow up well. Leaving them to be dirty is never excusable.
And for the kid to arrive with the fishy story about a Cape Town School, asking for banking details etc ( which a real school would not request ) and not properly typed on official paper, is not credible, and some sort of scam is likely.
Try to encourage him to join you in couples counselling to sort out all these things, before agreeing to go on with the wedding.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sandy | 2009/06/25

Maybe the father is being too soft on his daughter but you also sound like you have issues with the kids. Learn to get along and your life will be so much are kids man, you just need to knwohouw to handle them. If you have a problem with them before you even marry their father, how is your relationship going to be like after you married their father?

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