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Posted by: Pippa | 2004/10/25

Hateful ex and his sisters

My ex-husband left me 10 yrs ago to go and live with his sister. I have 1 son and 1 daughter. He has 3 other children from 2 previous marriages (he had tissue tests done on the one boy because he said the child is not his) but the 1st son drowned. He lived with the 1 sister for 3 yrs then he went to the other sister - then he went back to the first sister. Then she told him to leave and he went to his brother. After a few months the brother asked me if my ex could stay with me for 2 months because he was also going through a divorce and he needed time out. His 5 sisters feel that if we spent weekends together then why can't he move into my house. Well 2 months has now been about 4 yrs and during that time he got worse. I read an article in O magazine and realised that after all these years my husband has always been a mentally abusive husband and father to my son and I. He has constantly picked on my son and once told my son he is useless and good for nothing. Now on Friday I get home from work and my son is waiting for me in the driveway. He said my ex called him a p*&^$s because my son didn't bring in the dustbin from outside. I confronted my ex and he denied it. This is not the first time my ex has denied being verbally abusive to my son. Well that night I went to bed and my ex and I were having a squabble. He lost his temper, jumped on me (i thought the bones in my neck were broken). While he was on top of me my son came through and literally jumped 10 miles high into the air and onto my ex's back and told him to leave me alone. My ex was so shocked beyond belief that he calmly got off me and said to my son not to do that again. My ex was in total shock that he walked away.

I was out of control because I have never seen my 17 yr old son look like that before. I have always felt that my ex's family dumped him on my doorstep because they know he will leech off someone forever. So I phoned his sister and told her how he has verbally abused me and my son for years. I told her my ex is trailer trash. Instead of getting sympathy from her she said she felt that I am insulting all the sisters if I call him white trash and she doesnt appreciate it because the sisters have always clubbed in to help us. I asked her if she really knew the man that she calls her brother - if she really knew the way he has treated us for years. Then she started crying and her husband told me to hang up. I know I was out of line in phoning her but they dumped him on my doorstep. Its only fair they take him back. They don't care about me and my kids anyway. When he left me 10 yrs ago my boss helped me get back on my feet and thats when the brother left my ex on my doorstep. My ex did not lift a finger to help us.

I cannot understand how a man can be so cruel towards a wife and child who have done nothing to him. He is a bully and I would love to give his sisters a piece of my mind but I get the feeling they think he is an angel. Even the people he works with think that he is so wonderful. Good God!!! His behaviour is appalling at home. How can a man hold such a grudge against an innocent child??? What is the mental block that this man has towards my son??? What goes on in this idiots head to make him dislike the child??? My son is so quiet now that I am shattered.

What am I going to do? My son says we must sell the house but its not that easy 'cos I need a car to get to work. I am so heartbroken because of my children - they are affected by this mans constant trouble-making. What can I do to make it right. I love my children so much. Please help.

Should I sell my house. My son and I hate my ex with a hatred that you will never know. My daughter wants him to leave. Where do I go to from here because his sisters will never take my side. They have always had a chip on their shoulder about me. I hate his family so much with their self-righteous attitude. What am I going to do to save my children from this miserable life?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Pippa,
If his sisters truly thought that he was such an angel, they would sill have him living with them. But there isn't any reason for you to put up with an Ex, living with you and making you and your son miserable. Push him right out, and tell him that where he stays is not your problem any more, but it will NOT be with you. He can pick the sister of his choice, or stand on his own two feel for a big change. Call POWA for advice, if you need it. If he's troublesome you can ask the police to help remove him, and get a court interdict to forbid him to approach you, your home or your children again.
You don't NEED his sisters on your side. He is your EX. Let him be much more Ex. Where he stays is HIS problem, not yours. It's your house. Don't sell it --- just have him removed from it.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Straycat | 2004/10/25

Sounds insane... You need to get out of this situation and start a new life for yourself and your family... You dont deserve any of this abuse from your Ex and his confused sisters...Your son sounds like a brave and strong young man... and I think, you are aswell !..
Do what you gotta do to be happy again !!!
God Bless..

Reply to Straycat
Posted by: Kay | 2004/10/25

Tell your wex to leave. The house is yours and you are not married. Why do you put up with this?

Reply to Kay

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