Posted by: Fiona | 2009/01/22

Hate fellatio

Dear Sexologist

My boyfriend swears that women love giving b-jobs and that they love swallowing. This is a serious question, I do not enjoy it (with any of my previous boyfriends either), and from talking to my friends and other women they say they dislike it too, its just that men love it so much and women know that since it is what men want its the way to keep your man happy.

Question is: I want to know how true this is, what research and what do other women feel (not the men) just the women please. Be honest.

I just want to add that since I love my boyfriend I do this (wholeheartedly) but he says nothing is more pleasurable than to know your woman loves to do it to you. Sure. Should I fake I love it instead?


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

you should not lie and nor is it possible that every women likes the same things. Rather be honest with him and say that you will do it for him because you love him and not that you necessarily like it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Wondering | 2009/01/23

I think he has issues about it. It' s the same for a man going down on a woman. Some men don' t like it but they will still do it. The women that love receiving it, will not worry about if the man really loves doing it, it should just not seem like he is hating it. So yes, you can fake something just to keep the mood, but he has to accept the fact that you fake it so he can get off on it. If he doesn' t its his problem. Take a porn movie, the porn stars fake it to please the man, not because they really love the taste of his sperm and want it all over them. It' s just playing along with the fantasy. There is nothing wrong with creating this fantasy.

Reply to Wondering
Posted by: fiona | 2009/01/23


I did tell him this that I will do it for him because I love him and he said that is a major turn-off, the woman must love it and that is what eroticism is all about.
We since broke up not about this, but certainly our ailing sex life had a lot to do with it. I broke it off. I think that yes if I am crazy about a man it will be fine. I did not mention that he is totally addicted to porn - all kinds of media but excludes me totally (says I won' t like it), but my previous long-term relationship and porn were just fine. I then though excuse the pun (you can imagine my words) and I was brought up to be a lady, I am just sick and tired of him expecting me to be something I am not ie. a porn star with no opinion.
Thank you for the advice.
apparently my technique is also off, i am not being funny here but how exactly do you give the standard bj other than what a man will tell you he likes. Just in case I really am that bad.


Reply to fiona
Posted by: katherine | 2009/01/22

fiona.............for years i hated giving the man i was with a bj, i think it' s cause of the pressures men put on us woman to perform it on them, then i met and fell in love with this man 2 years back and i love giving him a bj, i all but dream of going down on him every night, i get so turned on just thinking of every lick, suck or nibble i' m gonna give him, he was open about wanting it but because of previous bad experiences it took me 6 months before i eventually did and i never turned back, actually taken him by surprise a few times as bending down before any chance on his side .....
i think it depends on each woman and the man they have and if he is helping make you comfortable, my man never comes in my mouth and likes to keep it that way, he never forces me to do anything and talks to me and tells me what he is enjoying and what he likes and if he wants me to do something again etc
i think you must do what you are comfortable with

Reply to katherine

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