Our expert says:
You do indeed deserve to live. And if you can't see the point of it YET, then that will come if you don't, insist on giving up too soon. I wonder what happened with the counsellor --- did you tell him/her exactly how you were feeling, and actually start work on moving forwards towards better ways of facing life ? Did you tell him/her that you felt the session was "to no avail" ? Don't expect too much too soon --- you spent quite some time becoming depressed, and it'll take some time to get out of it. And you needed also to see a psychiatrist for proper assessment and medication, as well as the counselling.
I am pleased to hear that you are trying. it is sadly typical of marked Depression that one feels the situation is hopeless even when it is not so ; and research has shown that even one's perception of the work around becomes biased, so one sees the bad things and not the good.
And as Hard Time suggests, you could use some of your ime to be helpful to others in need of support and assistance. And Figured It Out's commends are brilliant and worth careful re-reading and thinking about.
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