Our expert says:
Even with mild ADD and poor impulse control, that just means it's a bit more difficult to control some impulses, not that it's impossible to do so. And forming other friendships isn'\t simply an impulsive thing --- it takes time and effort, and there are many opportunities for him to recognize what he's begun, and stop it. The tempers and violence are much more serious, and the doctors should be asked to help him with this, both with psychotherapy and some medicatons which may make the anger easier for him to control.
If the doctors really believe this is uncontrollable and he won't grow up for a decade or two, you may well be wise to re-consider the wisdom of this marriage ; but to act cautiously so as not to become a recipient of his violence
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