Posted by: anon | 2012/04/23


I read in a previous post about a husband with male gynae issues, I am a husband with the same isuues, but I want sex before and after, I cannot understand my feelings about a quick check up every year, I also would like to go with my wife, which she wouldnt allow, but I would worry that the doctor would think I was a perv or a controlling husband if I did go, I am embarrassed to mention my feelings as I know how stupid they are, have there been any studies that get to the root of this problem, I have joked with a few mates about the gynae, and it seems that many men have the same feelings, but are embarrassed to mention them, even to their wives, there must be a study or a solution to this problem, I know gynaecologists dont encourage partners to attend unless for pregnancy, and society says if the husband must attend, they should wait outside, or they are jealous or perverts, I am neither, and my feelings are in secret, but I cant seem to get rid of these feelings, even I know the professionalism, I trust my wife and her doctor 110% and all that, but it does seem to affect my sex life at that time, like the other husband, just the opposite

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Perhaps you just had the courage to say / write it. A large number of men feel insecure if the wife goes to the gynae. Just keep in mind, in most cases it is so embarrassing for her that she does not even think of sex... There is nothing wrong if you want to accompany your wife and she is comfortable with it. Some doctors prefer not to be alone with the patient. Perhaps the problem is more about your insecurities than it is about the gynae visit? Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: NOT ME | 2012/04/26

my wife insists on going to the gyno alone, she is scheduled for a minor procedure,I told her she must go on her own, she must stay overnight, so she can drive home the next day on her own. since she has chosen to make gynaecology a private matter between her and the doctor, I will respect her wishes, if she needs a lift her gyno can fetch and bring her, and he can visit her in the evening, I refuse to be involved, she made that choice for me a long time ago, SO LADIES IF YOU EVER NEED YOUR HUSBANDS SUPPORT IN A HEALTH ISSUE, DONT EEXPECT HIM TO COME BOUNCING TO YOUR SIDE, WHEN YOU HAVE SHUNNED HIS FEELINGS FOR YEARS, SORRY ABOUT THAT, BUT YOU JUST MAY FIND YOURSELF ON YOUR OWN, WHEN YOU NEED A HAND TO HOLD

Reply to NOT ME
Posted by: Luke | 2012/04/26

Well my wife has just been to the gynae, no sex, even with condom, 2 days before, and a day after, thats terrible, because she looks so good down there now, after gynae prep. I have not mentioned a word, only asked if all was okay, I am so tempted to ask details, but dont want to make her angry.
Will deal with it, as we have to, so to anon, you are not alone, we can deal with it, until next year. Be happy if all tests are good, otherwise, a lot more invasive exams, so lets be thankful

Reply to Luke
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/04/26

Perhaps you just had the courage to say / write it. A large number of men feel insecure if the wife goes to the gynae. Just keep in mind, in most cases it is so embarrassing for her that she does not even think of sex... There is nothing wrong if you want to accompany your wife and she is comfortable with it. Some doctors prefer not to be alone with the patient. Perhaps the problem is more about your insecurities than it is about the gynae visit? Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Hooray for WOW | 2012/04/25

Well said WOW, you are a good wife, now if only my wife could be that reasonable, but that wont happen. I WILL JUST KEEP MY ISSUE A SECRET

Reply to Hooray for WOW
Posted by: WOW | 2012/04/25

I think all you ladies are the childish ones, if my husband wants to come with, I call him in to make it clear to the doctor that I brought him, just to make him feel more comfortable, so the doc doesnt look at him as weird. He is my husband, and we share everything, nothing private between us, and some years he comes, and some years he doesnt, but even if it is a bit awkward, I will honour his feelings, I dont have to understand them, like he doesnt understand all mine, but thats okay. Marriage is about compromise, and if he wanted, I would get a female gynae, but because I am open, and he is welcome he has no issue with the doctor that I am comfortable with, and if the doctor asked him to wait outside, I the customer would insist that he be with me. His issues are mine, and visa versa

Reply to WOW
Posted by: responsible wife | 2012/04/25

I have learnt not to tell hubby before appointment, I always keep my pubic area well groomed, so a little wax and trim are not noticed, and if he dont ask, I dont tell. He has asked before,why I didnt go, and it was 3 months after I went, so I just told him, I went earlier in the year, and I was fine, and left it at that. If they know the date before, they will be noticing when you wax etc, and their childish minds will run away with them, they must rather think you are grooming for them. I dont want hubby in docs rooms either, I go for the doctor patient privacy thing

Reply to responsible wife
Posted by: anon guy | 2012/04/25

I agree with MAN, that husbands should be welcomed by doc and wife, you would make husbands more comfortable, all these privacy issues of woman are what is the problem, a happy marriage can share everything.

Reply to anon guy
Posted by: Nini | 2012/04/25

I love Luke''s response!!!!!!!

Reply to Nini
Posted by: Bianca | 2012/04/25

I like the others do not allow my husband to come with me, he just jokes about it, it doesnt seem to bother him, he always asks if I enjoyed it, he is such a perv, but if I ever did get slightly aroused, I would never tell him. I think men with their small minds think we get turned on by someone touching us, that is because they cant control themselves, so they think we must be the same. I think that this topic, and the interest it has attracted shows male insecurity, and they think we are waxing and ttrimming to impress the gynae, they dont see it as personal pride

Reply to Bianca
Posted by: Lady | 2012/04/25

I would feel awkward if my husband had to watch me with my legs wide open and another man poking around and looking in my vagina, no way do I want my husband at gynae. He can see me in that position anytime he likes, but not while another man examines me, and yes I also trim before I go, common decency

Reply to Lady
Posted by: MAN | 2012/04/25

To Nancy, your husband is one of those that suffer in silence, that is why he asks the questions, and you are one of the woman that do not help,if woman and doctors were not so friggin private, and husbands were always invited, you would find men would stress less because of the openess, and actually would probably go along once or twice, and then not so much. When it comes to our wives bodies, we dont want to feel left out, or not important, and just the fact that our attendance is frowned upon makes us want to be their more

Reply to MAN
Posted by: nancy | 2012/04/25

I go alone, and I certainly will neaten up before appointment. Husband came when preg, not necessary at routine exams, he has no big deal, always asks a lot of questions though, why cant men be men, and just understand this is a womans thing, and a totally professional appointment, and has nothing to do with sex or husbands, so they have no place in the exam room, their only concern should be that we are healthy, men must grow up.

Reply to nancy
Posted by: Luke | 2012/04/25

Well intereting to read some responses, my wife is going to her male gynae today for a check up, she has also trimmed and shaved. I also cant go with her, I think woman just think it weird to have a partner watch such an exam, so I respect her wishes, do I like it, no, but neither does she. We men need to find a way to get over this, I personally do not know how, so I act and say it doesnt bother me, that I cant be there, because we must think of them and their health, and no woman would actually understand why a man would want to watch the gynae, they would immediately think we are un trusting or something like that which we know is not the case, so we carry on like it doesnt bother us in the least, but if a man is honest, and I have spoken to many on this topic, they all have a reservation sending their wife off to the gynae on their own, but all feel like they are the only ones that feel this way, so just accept it, but that is what we have to do, because it is an un explainable, and we know illogical feeling. no solution bud

Reply to Luke
Posted by: Nini | 2012/04/23

I most certainly " clean up"  for my gynea visit. As Anon says its like brushing your teeth for a Dentist''s visit.

Hubby has no issue at all with my doc visits, in fact he prefers not to hear about them... haha. He only worries if everything is okay, and that''s that.

Do I mind if he wants to come with me? I dont think I would have an issue with it. But I would be uncomfortable with him watching this doctor prod and probe me with strange devices. And of course me discussing little details about my body &  my cycle that I would never dare discuss in a normal conversations at home!

I think some things are just better left alone - private gynea visits are one of them. It''s an uncomfortable process, and sometimes embarrasing.

He did however accompany me for all our visits during pregnancy.

Reply to Nini
Posted by: Anon | 2012/04/23

I also wont allow hubby to come into gynae rooms, he can wait in waiting room if he so insists. I also clean up a bit before exam, but that is like brushing your teeth for the dentist.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: woman | 2012/04/23

This is a sex forum, and the gynaedoc has nothing to do with sex, just that part of the anatomy like everything else, and no way in hell would I allow DH to come to gynae with me, he has voiced concerns, but he better deal with them, because its my body, and I get to decide who views my appointments, it has nothing to do with him, his only concern should be that I am healthy, and I can tell him that, he has no business in the gynae office unless I was pregnant

Reply to woman
Posted by: husband | 2012/04/23

I know your pain, my wife has a bikini wax and trims her pubic hair before her visit, she says all woman neaten up before the gynae, and I am sure they all do, but I suppose the neatening up, and the husband not been allowed in, while his wifes intimate areas are been seen and touched, although perfectly honest etc, is a point of jealousy, but not concern. Why are woman okay if their husband takes them to the dentist, but cannot come to the gynae. My wife allows me to breast exam, annual mammogram and breast ultrasound, but for gynae visit, no way could I go.

Reply to husband
Posted by: MAN | 2012/04/23

Again this husband goes with his wife, so obviously no issue here. Good to hear the gynae doesnt mind though

Reply to MAN
Posted by: anon | 2012/04/23

My husband has accompanied me to every gynae appointment, my gynae has never had an issue with it. My spouse is very supportive of these visits and has no issues with it

Reply to anon
Posted by: MAN | 2012/04/23

It would be nice to hear from ladies who have actually discussed this openly with their husbands, or from ladies who have taken their husbands when not pregnant, and how the receptionist and the gynaecologist reacted by their presence

Reply to MAN
Posted by: George | 2012/04/23

I also dont like it, but as men we must try no get obsessed with it as our feelings are irrational and cannot be explained or addressed, I busy my mind with work, and show no external uncomfort. Bob has no issue, but obviously goes with his wife, or he couldnt be invited in, so maybe he doesnt realise, but he has a slight issue, or he wouldnt be in the waiting room of a gynaecologist

Reply to George
Posted by: BOB | 2012/04/23

I dont24 mind at all staying outside but my wife gynaecologist invite me inside sometime i refuse

Reply to BOB

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.