Posted by: NN | 2008/08/25

Guilty for not feeling anything

I was dating my bf for 18 months. We were staying together and engaged. We broke up in 2005. We got back together last year July. We reason we got back together was because we loved each other very much and we both wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I must say that the past 13 months we have been together have been hard for us but we have both been fighting to save our relationship. 3 weeks ago we decided we needed a break from the fighting. I then sent my bf an email telling him how I felt and said to him that he have been fighting for 13 months now and I want to know what are we actually fighting for. We have been together for 13 months now and we keep saying we want to work things out but then why aren’ t we engaged yet. I mean how long must we be together before we actually decide to take the next step? That was the reason we got back together in the 1st place. Anyway after a weeks break we got together to talk and he told me he needed another week to think because he did not know what he wanted anymore. So I gave him his space for another week, during these two weeks he did not phone me or sms me to see how I was doing. I heard from his friends that he was out nearly every night. Anyway, I went to see him last weekend and he still told me that he did not know what he wanted. He had this empty look in his eyes and you could see that he did not really care. So he asked if I could give him til the end of the month to think and I told him it was not fair on me as I was staying by my mom and all I had with me was my toiletries and clothes. So I said that it is obvious he does not want to be with me and I packed my stuff and left. This was a week ago. My problem is that yes I cried two or 3 times and I feel sad but not depressed about the whole thing. I am not angry at him, I do not hate him. In fact I still love him very much and miss him terribly. But I do not have this lonely and anxious feeling inside of me nor do I feel hurt. In fact I barely feel anything at all. Friends have also told me he has been seeing someone else and it honestly does not bother me the least bit. And I feel guilty for feeling this way. I have accepted the fact that he does not want to be with me and surprising enough it is not like me. I am a very sensitive person who gets hurt very easily. What is wrong with me?
Also one more thing –  I have a set of his house keys and I was suppose to have given them back last week but I have been sick so I have not had the chance. Yet the strange thing is that he has not yet phoned me for his keys. So I am wondering why he is stalling?

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Our expert says:
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Why didn't yopu both go to see a relationship counsellor so as to have some ral chance of working things out together ?

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Posted by: been there | 2008/08/25

Return the set of house keys and move on with your life. This guy definitely doesn' t know what he wants. I' ve been in a similar situation and is at this stage very happy to be single for past nearly 2 years. Good Luck.

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