Posted by: Tonti | 2004/12/08


Thanks for your messages, I note that CS hasn't replied yet, not too good for the self esteem!!!

Have had depression for 20 years, no known reason and have now given up looking for one. My husband doesn't believe in depression and to talk to him about how I really feel - Ha how do you tell the person that loves you that you don't want to live anymore. How do you look at your children and know that you don't want to live.. Then how do you live with the guilt of feeling like this.

Had a breakdown on Friday and saw dr. On medication again, waiting for it to kick in, but feel like a zombie! Dr wanted to admit me, but what about children?

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Our expert says:
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I am always impressed about how often people develop a problem over the course of YEARS, and then, when they decide to seek help, want an instant response. I flatly and perpetually refuse to EVER undertake to respond to ANY message within a day or two. Be realistic. If the shrink you PAY to see you can take days ( in some cases even weeks ) to give you an emergency appointment --- am I really supposed to be chained to my computer 24/7 ?
For your marriage problems, which might well be playing a role in perpetuating your depression, see a marriage cousellor, preferably with your husband taking part, too. You did the right thing in seeing your doctor --- it is titally impossible, EVER, for any online service to provide direct treatment or to deal with emergencies. I'm pleased to hear you have started on medication, and hope you start to feel some benefits from it soon. Think seriously about your doctor having wanted to admit you. Wouldn't it be possible to make some arangements, with your husband, with family or friends, to look after them during a relatively short admission ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/12/08

Hi Tonti,

I am quite surprised at you. You so constantly think that ending your life or wanting to die is the best for you without considering your kids, yet you consider them on being admitted!? I'm sure you know that the one choice is permanent while the other is just temporary??? From this alone I can tell that although you feel so down you're really not all that eager on just giving up on it all. So, tell me, how do you tell the people that love you that you would rather die than try to rectify this even while having the chance to do so???

Don't worry too much about CS, he will get here. I recall him mentioning something about having to do shopping on Wednesday afternoons, then he usually loses his way & only gets home by thursday... dunno where he spends the night but I guess that's his business... sshhhh c;")

I know sometimes we need him to respond sooner coz we kinda stuck at a place in our lives & often find that we depend on his professional & straight-forward responses. Guess we have to consider that he has a life too & will get around to it soon enough. We are quite lucky here though in that we can depend on his responding... compared to the other forums.

So, I've been depressed for for like 30 years now. It happens to more of us than you would realise. Anyway, who says that there is bound to be a reason for you feeling the way you do? Who says that at certain times you just feel down coz you want to? Who says that you should not be depressed? Life deals us some raw deals sometimes. Sometimes it deals us the deal of a lifetime. Sometimes it just deals us nothing when we want something. Who says it should deal us anything anyway?

Your self-esteem should depend largely on how you feel about yourself Tonti. If it is low at the moment, then yes, sometimes the wise & kind words of others is able to lift us out of our depression. Lift us out of feeling sorry for ourselves. Sometimes all we need is to just get things off our chests & we feel better already. Sometimes it's just knowing that you can share & relate to someone else that makes it so much easier.
Thing is, we have to make an effort to allow those things to get into us. I have the feeling that at this moment you feeling so low that you feel nothing or no-one can help. Maybe feeling even more desperate with our CS not replying as yet.
Tonti, I really don't wanna bore with such a long response as this may even seem to get to you... I just want you to know that you really aren't alone, & I feel you need to share more of the way you feel right now instead of keeping it locked within yourself.


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