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Question
Posted by: Poppy | 2008/06/18

GUIDANCE

I had a very abusive married life and cheating was the norm. Been divorced now for four months and separated since August last year. All our friends and his familiy knew about his doings. His sisters boyfriend gave me advice and was there emotional when I really needed a friend. I tried everything to make my marriage work, but unfortuantly can't do it alone. Even convinced him to see a psyciatrist but it only lasted for a few months than we back to the abuse. I even had to get an interdict against him. I always see the boyfriend only as the sister's boyfriend and that's it. We could not let anybody know that we have conctact cause they'll think that's the reasons for the divorce. The boyfriend said he has feelings for me and does not want to be with his girlfriend (ex's sister) any more. The thing is, I also feel something for him but if it gets out, everybody will forget about the life I had with my ex and focus on this relationship. He himself has a girlfriend already who might be pregnant. She even went to his moms house to introduce herself on her own. The sister and this guy are an item for ages now, everybody are wondering whether and if he is going to marry her. He said he wants to be sure before he marry somebody and to him I'm the one. He want to gradually break things of with her. What does that mean, can you gradually break up? In the meantime he gets the best of both worlds. I'm not proud of what I'm doing but I really believe this relationship might work. What should I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You're right that you cant sort out relationship problems on your own --- it takes 2 to tango. Don't accept the temptation to get involved with the guy who was understanding and supportive at a bad time for you --- such rebound relationships often cause grief all round. He should either work with a relationship counsellor to heal the relationship he had with your sister, or decide to break it off --- and NOT rush into any relationship with you, either, for at least a year.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Poppie | 2008/06/18

She is not my sister but my ex's sister (my sister-in-law) and it's her boyfriend that's interested in me. The girl that might be pregnant is my ex's new girlfriend.

Reply to Poppie
Posted by: Phontie | 2008/06/18

Poppy you.re are digging your own grave what if she is really Pregnant ? dont fall for this man cause if your ex sister is pregnant your ex hubby would be still at your face and I hope you dont want that or you still want to be around his family that were you wrong you dont want anything to with him play the hell away from his family or unless you want them to feel sorry for you\\\\\\\\

Reply to Phontie
Posted by: Sg | 2008/06/18

I agree with Candi.Get your own life sorted out first otherwise you are just doing what your ex did to you.

Reply to Sg
Posted by: Candi | 2008/06/18

You need to focus on getting your life sorted out.. if you go into a relationship now it will be because you are on the rebound. If he ends his relationship with your sister it will be because he wants to, not because he wants both your sister and you... sounds like he might want his cake and also eat it! But whatever you do, dont have an affair with this man whilst he is with your sister!

Reply to Candi

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