Posted by: HUBBIE | 2004/11/19


I build and sell about 150 simplexes a year. Inevitably I have clients who are not happy and get personal.They think I am the worst thing on earth. The agents think I am a low down human. My lawyer is forever on holiday and thinks I do not deserve the service I pay for. My wife finds it better to read than to carress me. In 20yrs of marriage we have never had morning sex and sex happened when lunar eclipses took place. She has on various occasions told me I am a pervert, ugly, sh*t parent etc etc.Daily I have to motivate work people, beg council people, grovel on the ground in front of my professional team to get them to do their work. I have 400 letting properties which I own and must control, a women running the renting office(my developments and letting properties are 300km apart) that stole her own furniture for insurance purposes and already stole money from my business. My wife used to control that portfolio. I pushed her out and took over to stop her blocking me to get insight into that section and I forced iti nto profits. Anyway, suicide is not an option as I have a son crippled in a car accident(not my fault) and he needs me and adores me. My self esteem is ultra sh*t. I must think 10x before I speak or instruct people so as not to offend them. To make it worse I do not trust or believe anybody(including a shrink) so cannot be helped. I am trapped, g*tvol and NAFI. I know I carry on and on with this but am frustrated

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Hubbie,
Sad tale. At least it's lunar eclipses, and not solar eclipses you need to wait for. I agree that suicide is not, and should not be considered an option, as you obvously deserve a whole lot more than that. Yes, frustrating it must be. You cannot be helped if you believe that you cannot be helped. But if you want to find your way out of this frustrating impasse, you can --- with an appropriate guide. You don't have to trust the shrink to know everything and especially not to know exactly what you ought to do and to take control over you --- but he/she WILL be able to have expertise in helping YOU to find, productively, what you need to do. If you were lost in a jungle, you'd welcome a guide who knew the territory round there. The same here. Pick a good local guide to mental territory, to work with you, on finding your personal solutions. This CAN be solved, if you will allow this to happen.
You have a great son, and obviously excellent business skills ( even if you perhaps carry too much of the burden yourself ).

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: hubbie | 2004/11/19

thanx for the advice - I am not lily white in this. We all make mistakes and you all are right. Maybe I must sort out these issues. The personal life probably te biggest source of anxiety

Reply to hubbie
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/19

Sounds like you have a busy yet interesting life! You need a break, you need someone to take over some of the responsibilities, and some of the crap! Yes, you need a friend to chat to, to moan to, your wife is suppose to be there for that, but sounds like she is a bit useless in that department. How dare she call you ugly names? Tell her to bugger off if she feels that way. Email me if you wanna chat or just blow off some steam babe1975(at)webmail(dot)co(dot)za

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2004/11/19

You truly need a friend.\
I know how painful it is to sacrfice so much thinking you're doing good when all you get is a kick in the face. - I am here if you want to chat.
Keep being the person you are all you hard efforts will pay off. Time is a bitch but hang in there - remember how much your son needs and wants you n his life.
Dont beat yourself up - accept things you cannot control. And be better at what you can.
Take Care
Take care

Reply to Juzlisen
Posted by: WIFE | 2004/11/19

You are very unhappy, and will stay so till u change ur own life.You are not trapped unless someone has u tied up in a basement !!!!. Life is to short , cut your losses and move on.You can always be a Dad to your son. Your work problems will seem worse because u are so unhappy in your personal life . Sort yourself out , one bit at a time. No one deserves to be as unhappy as what u are. You will probably find out that ur wife is desperatly unhappy to. You are a successful business man ... now make ur personal life as successfull

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