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Question
Posted by: Blue | 2008/06/01

Grief

Hello CyberShrink,
I remembered what you wrote about not allowing love while people are still alive and went to visit my grandmother today. It was really nice :-) We will see her next week again. Next week Sunday we are moving to another province, so we will not have the luxary to go visit that often. Apart from struggeling with my emotions, I have also been physically sick and often in hospital the last year. When I was at home, I was very low in energy (I also have a lot of pain) and I think this also contributed to the problem. I am feeling much better this last week :-) Thanks for your great advice, I appreciate it and is sure I will even appreciate it more after her death. Time with people is very precious. I feel very guilty for not being there for her more. I also feel guilt towards my mother. My granny lives in Joburg and my mother in the Cape (it is her mother). They fly up to see her as often as they can, but it is hard for my mom to not be here more. We are living only 30mins drive from her and I feel like I am really failing my mother to not look better after my granny on her behalf... This season of living near her is over now and I wished that I could have been more there for her... Thanks for your advice Dr, I really appreciate it. Kind Regards

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You've done marvellously, Blue ! The ability to feel guilt is a useful marker of human quality ( sadly, there are so many people around who seem to feel no guilt, nomatter how much they deserve to do so ). But beyond a fairly limited point, it is, literally, use-less. Don't waste on guilt energy you could use for what you can do for your mom and granny ( and feeling guilty for hatever you can't do, doesn't actually help them, does it ? ) Don't live backwards. Learn from the past only what will fruitfully guide your future.
Keep up the good work, and let us know how things develop

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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