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Question
Posted by: Glad | 2007/03/30

Good riddance but.......

Been in a relationship for over 4 years. from the beginning our relationship was based on a lie as he was dating someone and neglected to tell me abt it. A coupla of years later he came clean abt the whole thing but didnt want me to leave as he said he could choose between us.
It's been two years since i told him to make up his mind. Gave him more than enough time to decide on that. Seein that he just wanted to keep enjoyin his cake and eatin it too, I finally broke up with him on tuesday. All I was gettin from the realtionship was misery and pain and i just decided enough is enough. He still refuses to accept that it's over between us, guess it's bcos i dropped the bomb on him unawares.
I should have left a long time ago(not that I didnt try to many times).
when I tried to leave me he would tell me he can imagine life without bcos he loved me....but I would find smses sent to her tellin her that he loves her and would do that eternally but he only told me that he loved me when i asked him to. i also found an sms in Feb were he was askin for her hand in marriage(cant even describe the pain i felt at that moment).
he said he wants us to talk things over today, he says im not thinkin straight and that im in a rush to end things.
before, I didnt want to give him a chance to say anything else to me(tired of the lies). Not that his beggin me to stay will make me change my mind, but somehow i feel he owes it to me to explain why he led me on for so long.
I think it will always haunt me if i dont get "real" closure on this.

Should I go or should I? Pls advice!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If antyone says he can't choose between you and someone else, leave them --- it's not your duty to sit around on the shelf while the enjoy the benefits of both relationships. That's plain unfair and selfish of him. And of course he could choose --- he just had no reason to do so. So it took you far too long, but breaking up with him was probably a wise thing to do. He has misled you and manipulated you for far too long. Do NOT discuss this further with him --- his problem is NOT that you are "not thinkin straight" --- he's bothered that you ARE thinking straight at last, and it doesn't suit him for you to do so. He hasn't been frank or honest for you in all this time --- how can you expect him to give you closure and an honest explanation now ? I agree with everyone else who has commented so far --- don't waste time meeting with him, there's nothing of benefit to you that could come from it

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joy | 2007/03/30

Dont meet him..he doesnt even deserve to in the same room as you, much less be pleasured by your presence and attention! He is a sick bloody liar and you should run away and stay as far away from him as possible. Buy a new sim card and get rid of him permanently!

Reply to Joy
Posted by: Lauren Auder ™ | 2007/03/30

Meeting him will definately drive u back in2 his arms. He will tell u how u mean da world to him n how he wont b able 2 live without u..... If I were u I wud not meet him at all 2day

Reply to Lauren Auder ™
Posted by: Carol | 2007/03/30

Darling, no matter what he says to you, deep in your heart you know the truth - dont give him the pleasure of talking kak into you head again - sometimes, in life, there are just certain things that we have too accept, so give yourself closure knowing that you gave him every opportunity to come clean - he did'nt - that's his loss?

Reply to Carol
Posted by: g | 2007/03/30

I think you are fooling yourself into thinking that by talking to him you will get closure. Don't give him the chance to draw you into anything again - he certainly does not deserve it. He is a liar, and has been for a long time, how could what he has to say provide closure for you when he will just tell you unscruplously what he thinks you would like to hear.

Reply to g

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