Posted by: Yello | 2007/02/27

Good news and bad karma


I have not been on this site for ages, mainly because my life has been in such an upheaval over the past few months! Early last year I did something really stupid and then decided that it was time I got back in control of my life. First (and I do NOT recommend this) I chucked all my medication, all the anti-depressants, I stayed on the Xanor's for a little while, then weaned myself off them too. I slowly started getting my head back together. It was very difficult, but being on the medication did not help me, I think the situation I was in did not actually warrant medication ... and you mentioned this in one of your replies to me. I was unhappy because my husband made me unhappy so no amount of medication was ever going to fix that. Things got a lot worse before they got better. I eventually got the courage together and divorced him. Although I still love him, there was just no way I could live with the emotional abuse, which was starting to get physical.

So one of the good things was that I lost a lot of weight, and not because I was on a diet. I really think all the meds made me pick up weight, as I did not change my eating habits.

I bought myself a Scotting Terrier when I went off the meds, as I read somewhere that dogs are great for depression, and believe it or not it helped me. I love the damn dog so much it is not funny! He was a distraction and a little being that loved me no matter what. Sounds corny but it worked.

The divorce was hard, he took my youngest son as part of the deal. Although that sounds terrible it was the only way he would grant me a divorce, and I have two other children from my first marriage to take care of. In retrospect if I had been stronger I would never have allowed it. I see my son once a week, and every second weekend for 4 days. I do not think my son is getting the best of care, but he does not want to live with me, and our relationship was very strained when he did live with me before the divorce. My ex husband caused huge tension in the home between the children. I was not allowed to discipline the youngest one, he would scream abuse at me whenever I was angry with the child. So of course my son never listened to me and played us up against one another all the time. My eldest son also cannot stand the youngest one, and I was worried that he would hurt him while I was at work. And so I rationalise my decision to let him live with his dad. I think he is happy there. When he visits me we have good times together.

I have managed to quit smoking for a month now, without gaining any weight! So far so good! I never thought I could do that.

My ex husband is still very abusive. It hurts me, as I dont see the point now that I am no longer his wife.

Anyway I am slowly but surely getting my life back on track, and thank you for your help along the way.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You've certainly been busy ! Some meds are useful in treating Depression, but not in treating unhappiness, where there are excellent reasons for being unhappy. Your ex's continuing abusiceness ( hen he gets the chance ) shows how much it can become a habit, doesn't it ? Keep right back on track --- very well done.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ola | 2007/02/27

Good luck Yello - you're such a star! When I gave up smoking I got really fat! And when I gave up my abusive husband, I got beautiful! You've got everything going for you!

Reply to Ola
Posted by: Yelllo | 2007/02/27

You've been through a tough time but its really heartwarming reading about what has happened to you. Good luck.

Reply to Yelllo

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