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Question
Posted by: Bad Girl | 2004/10/26

Good Guy / Bad Boy

Why is it that the Good Guy with Good intentions and Good manners and a Good bank account who's a Good man does not DO it for a Girl ?

But the Bad boy with Bad manners and Bad intentions etc. is the one that does DO it for you ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Interesting that this question comes from the bad Girl, and not from the Good Guy. Good answers from Demon and Shaun. IF you choose the bad guy, don't complain when he turns out to be bad, and hurts you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/10/27

The bottom line is.............Good guys are BORING.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: JJ | 2004/10/26

Very wise words Rene.

I think men are also like that. For a certain period you would rather chase the interest / bad girls than the good / easy ones, but you will not marry the bad girls.

I think it is like a cowboy thing - you want to go out there and tame the wildest and strongest horse for yourself – except that people tend not to change that much, so you tend to get burnt.

Reply to JJ
Posted by: Demon | 2004/10/26

The thing is even if he is a good guy there should be some spark. I think you should stand back and look at what you had look at what you have and the look at what you want and get all the negosiable stuff out of the way and only look at the things you are not willing to negosiate on. Then compair it and look at this good guy if he compairs and then make the desision. I will be fair to him and he will be ok!!

Reply to Demon
Posted by: Rene | 2004/10/26

Girl, I know how you feel! My ex was a bad boy, and I wanted to change him! I wanted him to stop drinking, and stop swearing, and I wanted him to phone me all the time, I wanted to be his rescuer and help him.....but it wasn't healthy for me. I've accepted that I cannot change people. I can give advice if they want it, but there is no possible way I can change them! I can only help if they want it. Even if the guy says he'll stop doing the bad things he's doing, I guarentee you, it'll be shortlived, and he'll start his rubbish again, and they will end up resenting you for trying to change them, my ex did, and he apparently cheated on me. He hardly ever called me, sms'd me, or even saw me! The more he did all that, the harder i tried. the more i phoned him, smsd him etc, thinking that the harder i tried the more hed see how he was hurting me and the more hed want to try harder and make the effort....he never did. Theres a friend on mine, who is SUCH a good guy and he's so in love with me....but its strange for me........its strange to have a guy that would do ANYTHING for me. He would NEVER cheat on me, or anything like that! But it's dificult for me to accept the possibility that he may actually be THE ONE for me!!! But like i said, bad guys are short lived, in the end they're not worth it. They can make really really good friends, but better they be friends than lovers!

Reply to Rene
Posted by: cookie | 2004/10/26

I would also like to know the answer to this question. I'm giving both "good and bad boys" a chance but the bad boy just do something for me... and no they don't treat me bad, or hit me it's just the image they portray.... it's like they are aloof, they share some of their feelings but not all and they keep you guessing, with a good boy, you know where you stand... not that it's a bad thing... us girls always wanna know where we stand in a relationship but why oh why does the bad boy keep things interesting and leaves you wanting more... even though you know everything about each other...... I think that's what I'm wondering....

Reply to cookie
Posted by: straycat | 2004/10/26

Go for it :)

Reply to straycat
Posted by: Bad Girl | 2004/10/26

Straycat I like your way of thinking !!!

Rene that is my problem I do want to change then and help them and be there for them and my needs are always neglected where with the Good guy he's the one doing the nice things.

Straycal I'll be appreciating him more and doing more to see if I can ignte that *spark*

Reply to Bad Girl
Posted by: TW | 2004/10/26

Listen its nice and all that he's there for you and ect ect ect

But if your feelings arent the same as his then you are being unkind to the poor guy, he could be with someone who cherishes him...

Do some serious thinking before you let things go to far and really hurt his guy. Sometimes a spark doesnt happen immeditley but you should already have some kind feeling if hes the one of more of a friend??

Besides this bad guy rubbish is just that rubbish, they will only use you, treat you badly and cheat on you - so what if they have "more" fun - whatever - they need to grow up. You can be guarenteed there isnt a future with that type of guy.

Reply to TW
Posted by: straycat | 2004/10/26

Maybe he has the spark in him... prehaps its up to you .. to ignite the spark... you could be presently surprised..

Reply to straycat
Posted by: Rene | 2004/10/26

Is it perhaps, that the girl that wants a bad boy, because she feels she can help him to change and become good? Maybe she wants to feel needed. Trust me, I've been with bad boys, and NOTHING you do or say can change them, or any guy. They're good to be with for a short while, but it gets old, especially if your ideals and values are not the same as his. Never compromise yourself or your standards for a short lived thrill, believe me, it isn't worth it.

Reply to Rene
Posted by: Good Girl | 2004/10/26

Demon your second line is exactly what he said to me last night. He said that he's always fixing what other guy's have broken, so yes you have make a lot of sense and I do appreciate your 2c on it. I will give him a fair chance and work on myself obviously the problem is with me. Thank You.

Reply to Good Girl
Posted by: Vo | 2004/10/26

Now, this is much different subject than "all good men are losers".
No one is perfect, and I dont think u want a good man to act like a bad one, it is not himself then.
I think you are demanding alot of things, it will blind you, so you wont appreciate what you have got.


Reply to Vo
Posted by: Demon | 2004/10/26

If you are seeing this as attack, sorry!!! The thing is a lot of woman have said the same words to me that you have said yes my wife including and she had an affair!!! I was always there and supported her and yes I was the safe one still am, the thing is more and more woman shun the safe gay the good guy the one that will alway be with you and you will find that does not matter how hard you try and brake them the will always be there and then when you are broken in pieces the will pick you up and put you back to gether again as i did with my ex wife. We are now building a new truth and I must admit it is dam difficult at times but we will get there, but as i said above good guys are taken for fools and for granted but the are good enough for the pain and to sort things out. The thing is you will have to come to a point in live where you make a choice its ithere good or bad you can not have bouth!!!!! It is unfair to the good guy because he has to keep fixing which he as not broken!!!! Sorry but thats my 2c on it!!

Reply to Demon
Posted by: Bad Girl | 2004/10/26

VO

The Good Guy has got good manners, he's friendly, my mom and sister loves him, he's just good old R to them, he's always available when I'd like him to come over, or to go out or to just sit at home BUT the *spark* is just not there so what must I do wait till it comes ? Will it ever come ? Is this what I must settle for ? I do not want to hurt him at all please do believe me.

Reply to Bad Girl
Posted by: Vo | 2004/10/26

BG,
go back and read what you have stated at the beginning, sounds very negative and de-motivating. I think it is not true of what you have said, and it is not fair to give a such statement to all men.

Reply to Vo
Posted by: Bad Girl | 2004/10/26

Demon why so aggressive ? Good grief I would not be looking for help here if I was happy with the choices I've made in the past would I ? I currently am dating a guy who's a very, very good guy. He's loyal, loving, caring etc. We are taking it very slow exactly because I want to be sure that it's right and that I don't get hurt. And yes he is probably suffering because of other guys. Demon rather try and help than attach !

Yes the thrill is not there but I'm trying to make sense of my emotions ect.

Reply to Bad Girl
Posted by: Vo | 2004/10/26

How do u describ a good guy? From what you have said, I think I have different concept than you.
Anyway, I think you should stop complaining & moaning, and start to appreciate things in life. Stop expecting & demanding, and start to accept & give.
If you cant, I suggest u go find a bad guy.

Reply to Vo
Posted by: Demon | 2004/10/26

Nope just fead up with woman that complain that they are treated bad by the thrill of there lives and then come crawling back to the guy that is always there for comfort, but your day will come as for many that chose your way of thinking and we will se you back on the forum with your note changed. Sorry but when it happens dont cry except it as your choice and smile!!!!

Reply to Demon
Posted by: Bad Babe | 2004/10/26

What is your problem Demon been dumped a lot by girls who wanted a bad guy in stead of you ?

Reply to Bad Babe
Posted by: Demon | 2004/10/26

Yup thats true and when you get hurt and beaten and cheated on and treated like durt then you cry!!!!!!!!! Good guys my be losers but we know how to treat a lady and actually now how to please them as well because we are conciderate in every department!!! But if you are satisfied with second best please be my gest your lose!!!!!

Reply to Demon
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/26

Well, bad guys thrills are short-lived, good guys on the other hand, last forever... Guess thats what scares the girls off most of the time... Too much goodness is, sometimes bad. Thats just how life is. Guess it also goes with you current stage of life.
Don't worry, hang in there, know what they say, slow & steady wins the race.

Besides, all those bad guys out there that get all the girls will eventually end with aids...hehehe (no offense intended)

Just my opinion...

Cheers,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Bad Girl | 2004/10/26

Sorry I'm new at this

meaning of DO : "trills you " / "turns you on " / have you never met anyong that just DOES it for you, well good guys just don't.

Reply to Bad Girl
Posted by: Bad Girl | 2004/10/26

DO :

Reply to Bad Girl
Posted by: Demon | 2004/10/26

You tell me have asked that question many a time and came up empty!!! Think it may be the adrenaline of it, good guys always loose in the end because as you said woman like them bad, until they find out what bad means, and then you think they learn there leason but no they go back for more even if it someone diverant!!! GOOD GUY'S ARE LOSERS AND THAT IS FACTS!!!

Reply to Demon
Posted by: Vo | 2004/10/26

Do what?

Reply to Vo

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