Posted by: AU | 2007/08/21


Hi, I am an active person, recently took part in Comrades but lately(last 2 wks) feel that one day, I can kill someone and the next, sit and cry. I am NOT normally like this. Usually a good 10km+ run can lift my mood, but no amount of running is helping. Could it be that things are just becoming a bit too much ie. my husband is unemployed, my salary covers all expenses, my 8yr old daughter needs attending to, working a full day (doing the job of 2plp), coming home to change my role to "sophie" and still having time to squeeze running in at 5.30 every morning. To top it all off, my husband has a fuse as long as the length of an ant and chooses to ignore me when I try make conversation, the other is that I have no need to be intimate with him either (which adds fuel to the fire), I wish I knew why !! This serious mood change is affecting my work and my home life. Any help / suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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Our expert says:
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We do know that runners can in a sense become addicted to the endorphins which running raises in their system, but it sounds as though there are a combination of stressors causing you to become over-anxious and exhausted. Of course it's a problem that your husband is unemployed --- could he, while continuing job-seeking, take on more of the chores associated with the home and child care ? Chronic stress can lead to Depression as well as general exhaustion, and attention to this could also help to change this unpleasant situation for the better.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kiera | 2007/08/21


To me, it honestly sounds as though you are pushing yourself too hard. SLOW DOWN. I had a baby 21 months ago and since then have tried to be Supermom and take on absolutely EVERYTHING - to my detriment because i'm exhausted all the time and intimacy is the LAST thing on my mind after working a full day, coming home to make dinner and take care of the baby, sorting out things at home and finally crawling into bed at 10/11 at night. I also have asthma and an autoimmune disease (only developed this after the baby was born) which i think are stress related, so i'm up half the night too. Top this with a very unsupportive partner and i've got the recipe for personal disaster!

I've recently told myself that to save my own sanity i need to start taking it easy. If the dishes aren't done - so what - if the house is a mess - i don"t care (we just don't invite anyone over! :-) ) I've learnt that it's ok to take a break every now and then and let things fall apart. i also try very hard to take time out to meditate and just relax which i find is helping to ground myself.

Have you tried (if you have the time), to help hubby get back on his feet - looked on job websites etc.? Perhaps once he's financially independent again, things won't seem quite so bad. Have you told him how you are feeling? Have you asked him to help you lighten the load a little - perhaps he can do the housework during the day if he's not doing much else.

Sorry i can't be of much help - hope you feel better soon.

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