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Question
Posted by: Suri | 2004/11/22

Going in circles.....

I am back again with my boyfriend problem. This weekend was not good for me. I had an arguement with my mom about spending so much time with my boyfriend.

Then on Saturday I couldn't spend much time with him as he had a reunion to attend and I had to part take in prayers. On Sunday I made special arrangements so that I could spend time with him, only to find out that he was into too lunch by two female friends. I asked him if he could find out if I could come with as I didn't want to be alone, especially with me being stressed out.

I didn't like the thought of him spending time with these other women. I told him so. He then said that he will make sure that he leaves as early as possible so that he can spend the rest of the time with me. He told me that by 3 he will be available. So I didn't stress out but then by something past 2 he phones to say that they were only going to have lunch then and he would be ready by 4.

By 3:30 I phoned him to find out if he is done yet. He then said he was eating and couldn't talk and he would phoned me as soon as he is done. It was already after 5 and he didn't call. When I called him, his phone just rang then went to voicemail.

I left him a message. He phoned as 5:30 to say that they were drinking and end up in the pool. He was just finishing up and he would see me soon.

I was extremely upset when i saw him, and ended up crying. He felt that I shouldn't have been upset with him. What do I do?? Please help. I am still upset and don't know how to deal with it..

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Suri,
What can I say ? He was surely inconsiderate and rude in treating you in this way ( and, if I remember that there is a religious element in your parent's objections to this relationship, his spending the day drinking with others is hardly likely to make them fond of him, either ). I worry whenever I hear someone speak of their relationships in the way that you do, though, as it sounds as if you are allowing yourself to become dependent on him, and giving him far too much power over your happiness. Are you sure he feels as strongly fond of you, as you do for him ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nita | 2004/11/22

Well, Suri...

Best of luck to us both.

Reply to Nita
Posted by: Suri | 2004/11/22

Yes, that also adds pressure on me to want to spend more time with my boyfriend.

Also being indian, indian woman tend to be horrible when a new indian female wants to join. They show that they jealous and can be real snobs.

Reply to Suri
Posted by: Nita | 2004/11/22

Yip, people can be "clicky".

I even find it's at times hard with current friends, especially those that are in relationships. They seem to have things planned toghether at most times, so one doesn't want to inturde.

Reply to Nita
Posted by: Suri | 2004/11/22

Hi Nita,

Yes, you are right. However its not easy to expand our social circles. think about alot of people have already formed their groups of friends and not many are keen to include new people into their circle. Believe me I have tried and its not easy.

Reply to Suri
Posted by: Nita | 2004/11/22

I think I tend to have the same problem, with not having many friends I too get too dependent on the boyfriend. Upsets me often having to sit around and wait for him.

Well, you and I should really get out their and expand our own social circles, it's sure to help.

Reply to Nita
Posted by: Suri | 2004/11/22

CS

No, there is no religion problem. We are from the religion.

Yes, You are right I am becoming to dependent on him. I just need to make more friends. If I have more friends then I wouldn't be so dependent on him.

Reply to Suri

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