Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Stubborn, welcome to the forum and thanks for this post and I apologise for my very delayed response. It sounds as if you could use plenty of support right now during this very confusing time.
You're telling us that you're unable to pursue your relationship with your "ex" because of complex dynamics at home involving your family.
Firstly it does sound as if you're ambivalent about your relationship with this guy - you refer to him as your boyfriend and as your ex and you also refer to seven years of "friendship". Who, exactly, is this guy in your life? It also sounds as though the relationship hasn't been easy for you - there have been frequent break-ups and generally it sounds quite stormy. I'm wondering whether you haven't been more emotionally dependent on him than you admit to the extent that his needs were always placed before yours due to your fear of losing him. You don't tell us why he left for London - is it possible that this was an attempt to end a dysfunctionally dependent relationship characterised by manipulation and complex games?
Currently you sound overly preoccupied with your family dynamics. Everyone in your family sounds very isolated (I question your reason for not discussing what's going on with your sisters!) and you seem to be assuming responsibility for issues that you have no control over. Why on earth are you currently so worried about your nephew if you can't even discuss reality with his mother?
You seem to live in a very intense emotional world and it may well be worth your while to step out of your family's space (where you're too afraid to speak openly any way) and find your own feet. Learn to deal with your own issues, as opposed to other people's nonsense. Learn to assume responsibility for yourself and not for others. Focus on yourself, as opposed to others.
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