Posted by: Denai | 2005/07/25

Girls, please advise, i am dying inside

I met this guy of my dreams on my cellphone when he got lost into my phone looking for someone, which apparently became known that he was told about me and the whole thing was arranged. Twas my first time to enter such but we had fun. We drove together first day on an overnight journey. It was nice he was proposing but I was just not into him then, the ensuing days we spent together in parties for about a week until I finally gave in, he looked so serious. The background about him, he is a divorced man who according to him has suffered a great deal of abuse in his marriage, I mean heartbreaking stories about his past he has told me.All was roses for starters, allowing him to open up his world for me the same way I did mine for him.we stay in separate towns, a little bit far but he has been visiting and would stay with me whenever he was around for a week or so attending a course or workshop.What I hated and complained about was that whenever he is with me he would treat me like a queen, but once he leaves, his phone is off or not picked until he decideds to call, especially weekends and would come on Monday with lame excuses.When we were talking to each other he told me he had noone in his life, has been concentrating on his studies after the divorce. One other thing, he never invited me to his place despite my insisting. He said he was staying in a work hostel, camp kind of thing where there is no privacy.The only time I visited he took me to an hotel. Another thing, his phone never stops ringing when he is with me allnight, he puts it on silent, it is flashing and I even asked him to switch it off as it was disturbing me. One of his explanations for the weekend behaviour was that the exwife was harassing him with maintenance and also wanting to come back. I told him to buy another sim card where we can communicate or that he should call me before switching off so that I know. For the past 3 months on this 4 month relationship we have been having those foghts on Mondays or weekends and all lame excuises I have been given. I suspect that he ishaving someone and not being straightforward with me and my guts tell me that the relationship is where he is either at work or in the same town, he might even be cohabiting, which he has denied. The last time he was with me I saw a guest house slip marked couple which he gave me a lame excuse for after being arrogant about it. My trust in him is highly affected and I am beginning to lose interest. Like now I don’t want to call him. I forgot to tell him that he does not see the real need to maintain a distance relationship through communication, most of the time I did the calling and complained about it.I feel shut out of his life now that he cant call and he switches his phone off. I have a feeling this is just not for me and am at the verge of giving up and regretting giving in to his lies and deception .He does not care about how I feel. PLEASE ADVISE GIRLS.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liz123 | 2005/07/25

get out asap

Reply to Liz123
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/07/25

Denai, the way you guys met sound almost sweet, but even so he was deceitful. He is suffering from a midlife crisis and will go to any length to get his targets (you were one) into bed. Trust your gut feel and sack the guy immediately. He's got someone else (I suspect the "ex" wife), all the signs are clear for anyone to see. Don't let him mess you around any more, if I was you, I would stop contacting him, if he calls or sms you, ignore it. He actually doesn't even deserve a reason from you as to why you want nothing further to do with him. Get over him, and find yourself someone more deserving of you. Good luck.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: RE | 2005/07/25


Reply to RE
Posted by: liz | 2005/07/25

leave while you can... he will not trust me commit. He has a few ladies in every town. Trust you intuition

Reply to liz
Posted by: DENAI | 2005/07/25

The person who set this up is around and has been interfering on a number of occasions that i decided to run the relationship on my own and not depend on her to sort our problems. She is very angry and he posed as a good person before her. They know each other from school days he used to be a good guy the but she is so disappointed. It is true that guys never mature because we are talking a 46 year old man here who is even having a heart problem from the socalled past life.I think he is also using my sympathies to fulfil his agendas.I feel like picking my phone and giving it to him or send him countless sms as i used to do just to tell him what a dog he is before i quit, lest he does not know. There were times he made me angry that i would send him voicemails please call mes and several sms flooding his phone when he opens and he would forgive me for all those.I am very angry girls.

Reply to DENAI
Posted by: Keli | 2005/07/25

Dump this fool, he's obviously still married or involved with someone else. Dont hang around and think he'll change this behavior. You deserve much better!

Reply to Keli
Posted by: Guy | 2005/07/25

I also dout the fact that he even devorsed. He just wanted to taste you and go that. Apparently he has a serious relationship and that's why sometimes when you fone he does n't answer your calls and when with you his fone is on silence but he doesn't pick it up!. Girls you must n't be too quick to go to bed with the person you still not realy sure about!!! If you notice carefuly in most of the time the colapse of the Affair would always noticed after you have slept with him, never before!!

Reply to Guy
Posted by: Sue | 2005/07/25

He has something to hide for sure. If I were you I would call it a day.

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Star | 2005/07/25

My guess is that he is still married? Him not wanting you to go to his place? It doesn't make sense. Leave him befor you get hurt, it is not worth it, being the other woman, leave before you maybe get pregnant, you never know. Accedents do happen and useually in these situations.

He is using you, my advice, get out and stay out of this. Who set you up? Maybe ask them whats going on?

Reply to Star
Posted by: Liza | 2005/07/25

Don't let yourself be fooled into being the 'other' woman. It definitely sounds to me like he's either cheating on you, or cheating on someone else with you. And how do you know that he is REALLY divorced? Perhaps he's still married and just wants a little bit of excitement on the side. My opinion - break it off ASAP. And don't give in and 'try again' . He's playing you.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza
Posted by: PIP | 2005/07/25

Get out, Get out..........He is using you!!!!!
Sounds like he has a girl in every town.......... be careful of Aids girl...... I don't think you are the only one he is sleeping with
Dump him ASAP

Reply to PIP

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