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Question
Posted by: Tails29 | 2012/03/30

Girlfriend WILL NOT give oral or even touch my penis.

I am in a happy relationship of 18 months. My partner is perfect, apart from one issue.

I am a 29 yo man, she is 25. In the whole 18 months we have been together she has not touched my penis once. We have regular sex, and I enjoy giving her head, however head for me is totally off the radar considering she wont even touch me down stairs. In the 18 months we have been together, neither oral or manually have I been pleasured. I do not want to pressure her into performing these actions because I feel that will just make things awkward in bed. (How can I be aroused by making my partner do something she clearly hates/dislikes?) So I continue to give her oral, which I know she genuinely loves, In the hope that someday she will decide repay the bloody favour. Myself I get ZERO foreplay EVER.

I''m a clean bloke. I dont understand. This is the first girlfriend I''ve had with this attitude to sex.

I hope I dont sound shallow by saying this but she talks about future " marriage and kids and things" , and all I hear is " no -|- s for the rest or your life" . I do love her, am I being unreasonable?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

No you're not being unreasonable in wanting to enjoy normal sexual touch, but I do wonder why you don't appear to have even asked yet..? Not all questions are pressuring, some are caring and trying to understand if there is a problem, especially as this is not an unreasonable question/desire. You need to understand her reasoning and ascertain if it is ever likely to change to see if you can carry on in this relationship without resentment (which clearly is building!).

Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sexter | 2016/07/23

I would dump her. Will probably see her attitude change then. I doubt you are having a normal sexual relationship. In fact I bet you are doing everything nice in your power to get some action. Man up and if she doesn't come to the plate walk you pussy

Reply to Sexter
Posted by: Lewis | 2016/02/10

Ask her once or twice and if things don't change its best to move on... I'm in the same boat as you and can't take much more of it not gonna be unhappy life's too short

Reply to Lewis
Posted by: Brian | 2012/04/08

You honestly need a New girlfriend!! - It won t change. This will go on for Years and Years and you''ll end up blaming yourself for sticking it out. It''s like the couple thay stay together for the sake of the Kids. Nothing will ever get better - and I''m being dead serious!!

Reply to Brian
Posted by: ANON | 2012/04/03

I have a wife that stopped touching me about 7 years back, it is very frustrating, even the sex frequency is really on the minimal, with 2-3 x a month if I am lucky, no foreplay, no fingering, I can give her a quick muff, me on top, her on top, she finishes, I finish, all over in less than 15 minutes, it is very frustrating, so I encourage you to sort these things out now, because I live a life where I know I will never be touched again, sometimes I would like to touch myself, but that freaks her out also, one day the tap turned off, and it makes a marriage very difficult.

Reply to ANON
Posted by: xE | 2012/04/02

Maybe she is just being lazy

Reply to xE
Posted by: Noks Babe | 2012/03/31

Hayi no man! why is she acting strange? Maybe if u coated yourself in chocolate and let her lick you all over...? Communication and compromise.

Reply to Noks Babe
Posted by: Ms. W | 2012/03/30

Hi there,

I think that you must ask her - it is very strange. Ask her when the time is right, though.

Or maybe guide her hand to your penis when you do foreplay again and see what her reaction is.

I don''t think that it is normal.

Reply to Ms. W
Posted by: XXX | 2012/03/30

You should firstly talk to her about this.She might not want you to orgasm in her mouth,in which case tell her you won''t ejaculate,instead ,withdrawing before that happens.
It is unreasonable for her to receive but not give oral sex.It could be that she is simply shy,so try and guide her.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/03/30

No you're not being unreasonable in wanting to enjoy normal sexual touch, but I do wonder why you don't appear to have even asked yet..? Not all questions are pressuring, some are caring and trying to understand if there is a problem, especially as this is not an unreasonable question/desire. You need to understand her reasoning and ascertain if it is ever likely to change to see if you can carry on in this relationship without resentment (which clearly is building!).

Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to Sexologist

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