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Question
Posted by: ME | 2007/02/21

Girlfriend Problem

My current girlfriend who I Love very much and I know she loves me. The problem lies in our past relationships, she has told me everything about her past with a little questioning from my side in order to get out everything. I have know however realised that knowing what I know is not important and just causes problems and question which is not important to our current relationship. Its the past! The problem know is that she wants also to know everything about my past and she wants a detailed list. I know this is not going to do our relationship any good but how can I say no when she has told me about all of her past. I also know how i feel about knowing everthing bout her past and I don't want her to feel the same. Please advise?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Relationship counselling ? In a general sense, it may be handy for a couple to know about each other's pasty in broad terms and including highlights --- but wanting a detailed list is foolish and unreasonable. She maybe told you far more than you wanted to know about her past IN ORDER to have leverage to push you to fel you have to tell her all about yours. Tell her you're saving it for the media interviews after you win your first Nobel Prize.
And seriously, apologise and tell her you recognize that you shouldn't have asked all about her past, and are sorry that you did so, because it is the present and future that actually matter

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Our users say:
Posted by: The girlfriend | 2007/02/27

Hmmmm

Well.... lying to me is not the right thing to do after I did not do this to you! However yes ofcourse i want to know that they mean nothing to you know, that is the truth isnt it?

I love you very much and your past isnt important to me at all, you just went on and on and on about mine, yes a little of me was doing it to you so that you knew what it felt like, and yes that does sound a bit crappy of me to do. But right now its over its done with, i dont want to go there and neither should you!

The only thing that is important right now is our lives together and forever like we have said we going to do! We need to get on with this and this is the only thing that matters right now!

Reply to The girlfriend
Posted by: P | 2007/02/21

Lie. You were a virgin. You don't think back, you don't have any fond memories of previous girls, they mean nothing to you now, actually, they just fall away in comparison with her. :-)

Reply to P
Posted by: Director | 2007/02/21

I am a girl and take it from me.....lie to her about the exact number of girls you have slept with (FOR HER OWN SAKE).

Reply to Director
Posted by: ME | 2007/02/21

I totally agree I should never have gone into her past, but its done and I will have to deal with it. I also know I shouldn't tell her about my past but how can I convince her that she doesn't need to know when I convinced her a few months ago that I needed to know.

Reply to ME
Posted by: P | 2007/02/21

You were stupid for prodding her and you will have to live and forget about her past. Now do her a favour and don't tell her of all the girls you f ucked.

If you are a murderer, thief etc, yes tell her and get out of her life.

Reply to P

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