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Question
Posted by: upset | 2006/10/26

gf & gynae

my gf recently went to the gynae for the first time. she's only 19 and the gynae she went to was an older man. i'm upset because another man besides me has seen her vagina, even though he's a doctor, he's seen her and put his finger in her and felt and seen her breasts. why am i upset?

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like a degree of jealousy, even of ownership. It's HER vagina, and for a checkup, for the benefit of her health, she needs the right sort of expert to examine her and re-assure and advse her. As these are HER parts, its interesting that you apparently don't feel any sense of trespass when YOU examine or touch them.
If its any use to you as re-assurance, I can remember well back in the days when I did some gynae, that it was the least sexual job one could do, not only because of the doctor's proper professional detachment, but because it was WORK ( which makes most things feel different than when you do the same thing for enjoyment --- a chef may not enjoy eating, so much ) ; and because of sheer quantity. Sexual organs can be much more of a big deal with there are only your own and one or two others in your life. When you see them and work with them all day, they become much less special. Takes much of the romance out of life --- and the real problem may be for the gynae's wife, rather than his patients !
And Foxybrown's response is a classic !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Chelle | 2006/10/27

LMAO - Foxybrown - Your post above has to be one of the best post here ever! :-)

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Me | 2006/10/27

excelent response Foxy!

Reply to Me
Posted by: upset | 2006/10/27

thank you ppl for helping, i'm an idiot i know. you helped a lot.

Reply to upset
Posted by: Now H25 | 2006/10/27

Foxybrown summed it up in a nutshell (all be it a big one!)

Reply to Now H25
Posted by: Foxybrown | 2006/10/26

Upset, I noticed you have posted this query of yours a number of times on health24, on different boards. Can it be troubling you so much?

Look -
1. Your gf needed to see a gynaecologist. What were you hoping the gynae would examine, her eyes?
2. The easiest way to make sense of something is to turn it on its head. So lets say you have small pimples on the underside of your penis. Your GP refers you to a specialist. That specialist would be a urologist. The urologist happens to be female.

You get home and your girlfriend is on the rampage, asking how you can allow yourself to be touched by another woman. She chooses to totally ignore the fact that this 'other woman' was examining you for complications which could be anything from a mild infection to prostate cancer.

Would this be a realistic, acceptable reaction from your girlfriend? Would it even be realistic and acceptable for her just to harbour such thoughts, even if she didn’t express them?

More men than women are gynaecologists. Repeat - More men than women are gynaecologists. That means when you get a chance referral to a gynae, more often than not it is a man. Gynaecology is a very involved medical field requiring many years of study. You are not going to find a 23 yr old gynae. Most are older and have been practising many years.

So your girlfriend's gynae was male - that is the default for a gynae.
Secondly he was older - that is the default for a gynae.

What is your understanding of a gynaecological examination? That the doctor dims the lights, undresses the patient to the strains of Luther Vandross, places her on a satin bed and seductively strokes her genital area until she is fully aroused and he can slip his fingers inside?

What exactly is your understanding? A gynae is looking for things that may save your woman's life. He is doing pap smears to check for abnormal cell activity, internal examinations to check for growths and infections, scans to check for anomalies in the uterus, pressing down on the lower stomach and pelvic girdle to check for unusual pain or swellings.

That is his job. That is the older man's job. To check for things which could save a woman's life. To check everything is going well if she is pregnant. To check, check, check, check and check. And he does this by examining and feeling his patients. Gynaecology has not yet reached the advanced stage where just by leaning back in his chair, looking at his patient and hazarding a guess, a gynae can diagnose the problem.

A gynaecological exam is not something a woman would get aroused by. Cold instruments are sometimes used and very many women in fact tense up a bit, simply because it is a somewhat invasive medical exam. There is no element of pleasure whatsoever.

If at all you have told your gf you have problems with her being examined, take that comment back tonight. YOU are in the wrong,

Not her


Not her gynae.


You.

Reply to Foxybrown
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/26

i would love to slap you up side the head and say you are beeing posessive, but i cant coz i can almost understand why you feel like this. dont worry about it im sure its normal, just remember that gynaes see womens body parts as any other body part and nothing more. also dont think of it as his seeing her or putting his finger in her but rather as him examining her and making sure she is healthy and hasnt got any infections or anything. and makeing sure she hasnt got any lumps that could be cancer. i know it doesnt help much but if you can think of it in that way you wont feel so shit.

Reply to kat
Posted by: P2 | 2006/10/26

you are jelous, becasue you love her so much...but really you dont need to be, he is a doctor, a proffesional. so u have nothing to worry about. just chill.

Reply to P2

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