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Question
Posted by: Trying | 2003/12/16

Getting over love....

Its been months since my girlfriend left me. Ive been trying and trying to get over her but just cant seem to get it right. I go out, have a good time with friends, then BOOM, the next day im sad and depressed, back in the same situation I was when she left me. I meet other girls, who are interested, but I just cant stop thinking about her, and what I had before. Everybody tells me to just get on with my life but it is "easier said, than done." I hate what she has done to me. I dont feel like myself anymore. I dont know what to do anymore. It feels as if I am slipping into depression.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Trying, you're absolutely right, it is so much easier said than done. It is correct that you need to get on with the rest of your life, and that in time you will, but grief ( which is what in part this is ) has its own rhythm and time-scale, before it settles. Don't let yourself slip into despair. As with grief, at first i seems imposible to get through, and people who tell you that you will, sound like idiots ; and then gradually you find you are getting through it.
Already you are progressing, as you say you do have periods of feeling OK and having fun with friends, " then BOOM, the next day im sad and depressed, back in the same situation I was when she left me.". Concentrate on the period before the Boom ! What's important isnt that one can, Boom, slide backwards for a spell, but that there is enough progress for there to be room to slide back from there. Gradually, the amount of time you spend feeling OK ( or better ) grows ; the Boom's get less, and then one day you find you're through into the sunlight beyond. Keep walking, and you'll get there.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2003/12/17

hi trying
i used to get quite irritated with people who said "it will get better" but honestly, it does. when something like this happens in your life, you have to go full circle. you somehow have to feel all the emotions whether they be sadness, anger, despair etc etc to come out whole on the other side. I promise you, embrace how you are feeling, deal with your emotions and oneday you just wake up and realise that you are actually over her. my goodness, you wont believe what a revelation that is - so just hang in there, you WILL get there.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Maun | 2003/12/17

Get on with your life. Its time to move on.]

Reply to Maun
Posted by: Jonny | 2003/12/16

Dude, try chennel 72, those womanon FTV and a bottle of vaseline help me get over all my brake-ups!!!

Reply to Jonny

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