Our expert says:
Trying, you're absolutely right, it is so much easier said than done. It is correct that you need to get on with the rest of your life, and that in time you will, but grief ( which is what in part this is ) has its own rhythm and time-scale, before it settles. Don't let yourself slip into despair. As with grief, at first i seems imposible to get through, and people who tell you that you will, sound like idiots ; and then gradually you find you are getting through it.
Already you are progressing, as you say you do have periods of feeling OK and having fun with friends, " then BOOM, the next day im sad and depressed, back in the same situation I was when she left me.". Concentrate on the period before the Boom ! What's important isnt that one can, Boom, slide backwards for a spell, but that there is enough progress for there to be room to slide back from there. Gradually, the amount of time you spend feeling OK ( or better ) grows ; the Boom's get less, and then one day you find you're through into the sunlight beyond. Keep walking, and you'll get there.
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